The reviews are in, and Grogu is dead. His movie, anyway. The toyetic little critter popularly known as “Baby Yoda” co-stars with Pedro Pascal in The Mandalorian and Grogu. A theatrical spinoff of a Star Wars television show, one that way fewer people watched than any given Star Wars movie, was always going to be a heavy lift. By most accounts, director Jon Favreau and his co-writer, Disney Star Wars honcho Dave Filoni, have dropped it like Luke Skywalker trying to levitate his X-Wing. 

The headlines tell the story. “The Mandalorian and Grogu Probably Shouldn’t Have Been a Movie,” writes Vulture. “Latest in ‘Star Wars’ Franchise Makes Magic Of ‘A New Hope’ Seem Far, Far Away,” says Deadline. The Times of London has had it: ‘It’s time to kill off Star Wars for good,” proclaims a newspaper I believe is read by characters from Industry. The Force is not projected to be with the ticket sales, either.

I, however, am far less interested in this movie’s box-office death than I am in imagining a series of gruesome endings, perhaps thousands of them, for the little beast Grogu himself. I am not alone.

“The Mandalorian and Grogu have been found dead in what is believed to be a murder-suicide pact.” “Grogu killed in bear attack at Glacier National Park.” A picture of John Cena announcing the death of Osama bin Laden accompanied by the text “We killed that little grogu bastard. he is compromised to a permanent end.” Multiple iterations of the classic “Me and my friend would’ve killed [adorable alien from the Lucas/Spielberg Cinematic Universe] with hammers I can tell you that much” tweet, with Grogu instead of E.T. the guest of honor at the hammer party. In post after post, Grogu gets got.

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What is motivating this murderous impulse against a character who, to look at him, is no more offensive than Hello Kitty? I spoke to some of his killers to find out.

I wrote about the social media phenomenon of wishing death and misery upon Grogu for Defector.