Welcome back to what I hope will be an ongoing series of interviews with great cartoonists here at Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat. Once again I have the privilege of being able to publish an interview with a gifted writer/artist for the first time anywhere: This time around, the subject is Craig Thompson. As was the case with my interview with Phoebe Gloeckner, this piece was originally intended for publication (after much editing for space) in the now-defunct Abercrombie & Fitch Quarterly. It was conducted on July 18, 2003, over lunch at the San Diego Comic-Con.

My introduction to Craig

Four topic roundup.

First things first: The second installment in the ADDTF Interview series has been posted! This time around, I’m happy to offer my conversation with Blankets creator Craig Thompson.

To celebrate, I’ve also reformatted my Phoebe Gloeckner interview to make it a whole lot more readable. If it hurt your head to read it the first time around, give it a shot now. After you finish the Thompson one, that is.

David Fiore is still watching the Watchmen more effectively than, well, anyone this side of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons themselves, I think. Today’s near-comically insightful quote stems from David’s comparison of the work of Jack Kirby (morality constructed through action upon the outside world) to Steve Ditko (morality constructed through, if I’m getting this right, the choice to continue existing in one’s own space and on one’s own terms):

one of the reasons I’m down on the series (as an influence upon the tradition) is the fact that Moore bascially expels the Ditko elements (Dr. Manhattan, Rorschach) from the field, leaving the Kirby elements in the ascendant. I haven’t said much in this space about Nite-Owl and the Silk Spectre, but clearly, they’re very important to the design of the series. They’re likeable characters and they serve as stand-ins for the reader (Moore’s idea of the superhero reader–who enjoys the genre primarily as a power/escape fantasy). Neither Dan nor Laurie is able to function very well in the “real world”, and both seem to view adventuring as a “radical choice” (i.e. if you embrace it, it becomes your life–and, really, why wouldn’t you, if your real lives are as vapid as theirs seem to be)… They can’t even have sex unless they go through a good deal of costume-clad foreplay, and, you know, that’s just not too healthy!

Damn, he’s good. Please, go read the whole thing!

In a funny little bit of synchronicity (are the angels warring in Heaven as we speak?), Jim Henley revises his harsh criticism of Darwyn Cooke’s New Frontier on the very same day that I finally read the book. I’m glad Jim retracted some of his condemnation of Cooke’s depiction of erstaz pacifist-cum-ace pilot Hal Jordan. It seemed to me that the story framed this issue so that it was clear the military brass was not aware of Hal’s demurral to kill until after the Korean War had ended. I think it’s conceivable (more so given the flexibility we customarily accord to the “reality” of morality plays, as this superhero comic surely is)that Hal hid his pseudo-pacifism throughout his training, and that by the time it became obvious to his fellow pilots, he’d so won them over with both his personality and his skill as a flyer that they helped cover it up. It appeared to me that the brass began their investigation into Jordan and his refusal to kill only after the harrowing post-armistice incident depicted in the comic made doing so necessary from a diplomatic standpoint. Moreover, I don’t think Jordan was being lionized for this position: It’s clear that his actions, though “moral” on the surface, were simply a dodge that forced his brother airmen to make the difficult decisions he himself couldn’t handle.

Much of this appears to be borne out by Darwyn Cooke himself on DC’s message board. (I don’t know if the link will get you to the right posts, because DC has a bass-ackwards board that puts the oldest post at the end of the thread; just go to the bottom of the last page.) Cooke’s moral equivalency about the Korean War is troubling given the well-known nature of the North Korean Communist regime, and to the extent which this influenced his storytelling, it’s right to criticize his depiction of Hal Jordan. (Certainly the suggestion that the average American, let alone ace pilots, were indifferent to the Red Menace in the 1950s is a bit of a stretch. And if refusing to stand against North Korea makes you “a forward thinker,” as Cooke suggests, let us hope that the future has passed us by.) (UPDATE: Wait a second–An email exchange with the illustrious Jim Henley reminds me that the Korean War was unpopular (duh). Not Vietnam-unpopular, which is sort of what I was talking about, but unpopular. So it’s certainly fine to have characters wonder what the hell the point of it was. It’s just a little less fine for Cooke himself wonder that, as he apparently does if his messboard comments are any indication. That’s all’s I’m sayin’.) But most of what Cooke says makes sense for the character, the situation, and the story. Long story short: I gun for lousy storytelling in the guise of moralism with all the gusto of that helicopter in Atlantic City in The Godfather Part III, but I don’t see it here. (And the art is top-drawer.)

Finally, the battle between the Comics Blogosphere’s Preeminent Curmudgeons continues. Yesterday, NeilAlien responded to criticism levelled at him by Dirk Deppey by saying “that’s not what I said”; today Dirk responds by saying “Yes it was.”

No, it wasn’t. I think this is all a misunderstanding based on the following sentence: “Markets for non-superhero comics need to be rebuilt from outside the happy and fully-serviced superhero comic market.”

Dirk has taken this sentence (written by NeilAlien here) to mean that Neil feels the Direct Market is getting along fine as a superhero-only vendor, thankyouverymuch, and that efforts to change this are a waste of time. This is how Dirk responds (partially to assert that he’s not attributing maliciousness to Neil’s position):

[T]he attitude represented in [Neil’s] quote would eventually lead to the downfall of the Direct Market, but I don’t think Neil holds it becuase he wants to see retailers on the unemployment line. I just don’t think he’d thought things through when he wrote the statement quoted above….I believe that the “happy and fully-serviced superhero comic market,” which to the best of my (admittedly limited) ability to estimate is roughly 70-80% of the Direct Market, is headed for a slow but steady decline, for reasons enumerated in the disputed interview.

But Neil isn’t disputing that–in fact, putting it that way helps make his case! And his case is that browbeating superhero fans for not buying non-superhero comics is not a recipe for the successful salvation of the Direct Market. This is doubly true if those superhero fans are dying off! What Neil has advocated, consistently, is that the D.M. scratch that, the industry at large should forget about trying to convert this dwindling Superman audience to Jimmy Corrigan and Queen & Country and Iron Wok Jan, and instead focus on outreach efforts directed at people who aren’t part of the Direct Market at all! Manga fans (young and old, female and male), people who buy altcomix and non-fiction graphic novels when the New York Times or the Guardian reviews them, goths at Hot Topic or Tower Recrods, genre-fiction fans picking up stuff for the beach or the airplane or the commute–these are the avenues of expansion for the Direct Market and the larger industry, NeilAlien argues, and not superhero fans, who are already DM customers, and who have never shown any signs of willingness to buy non-superhero stuff. This is understandable, Neil says: After all, this is their micro-hobby. Using the analogy of henpecking at stamp collectors to collect coins as well, Neil asks, why should we even expect superhero collectors to change now, let alone ever?

Dirk, on the other hand, has made his opinion on this matter quite clear: The plight of the Direct Market is in large part the fault of the superhero fanboy. (For the record, you can find my take on the matter here, starting at the fifth paragraph.)

Dirk, Neil: You both recognize the dire straits the industry finds itself in. You both advocate the need for the Direct Market to grow into new audiences. Your only difference of opinion, it seems to me, is whether the industry should, in addition to wooing those new audiences, hold superhero fans accountable for their role in creating a mono-genre marketplace–indeed, often reacting angrily against the very introduction of alternatives into that marketplace–and exhort them to change in order for that marketplace to surive; or view them as reliable customers whose needs are being met, and therefore ignore them and spend prosetylization, marketing, and outreach efforts elsewhere, where the profit margin is potentially exponentially greater. That’s a reasonable difference of opinion, right? It’s also one that’s relatively easy to grasp, right?

Now, put aside your differences and work together for truth, justice, and the American Way, just like Batman and Superman!

I’ve already made my opinion on the Janet-Justin Halftime Boobtacular clear: The problem is not the nudity (which in itself is hardly worse than the Coors Light commercials that run about a bajillion times per football game, or than the cheerleaders the NFL parades around, or the boobs-for-food bartering on the Tiffany Network’s Survivor a season or two back), but the simulated non-consensual sex act that caused the nudity in the first place. In that regard the fiasco is at least as much Justin Timberlake’s doing as Janet Jackson’s.

So why doesn’t it surprise me at all that in this memo from “the bipartisan [Congressional] Sex and Violence in the Media Caucus” (oh, it’s bipartisan! I guess that means the First Amendment says it’s okay for these elected officials to begin spending our money to investigate fake gunfights and blowjobs on TV!) that the Congressmorons in question describe the unfortunate event thusly:

Viewers watched as the star of the show, performer Janet Jackson, had her costume ripped away to reveal her bare breast. Her on-camera sexual gyrations and exposure were broadcast by CBS via 200 free, over-the-air television stations around the country.

Note the awkward use of the passive voice in order to place the blame squarely on Janet, and not her male counterpart (who I imagine is a bigger star than she is these days, saleswise). Note that mere “sexual gyrations” are viewed as just as bad as actual nudity. Note that the violent and misogynistic overtones of the act are not even mentioned.

Listen: We all like breasts. And nipples. The obviously fake breasts of a plastic-surgeried freakshow, complete with ninja throwing star ornamentation–well, these we’re not so sure about. Generally, however, I’d just as soon see the American TV industry go European, where nudity has been shown on broadcast for decades (I’ve got the Monty Python DVDs to prove it.) Of course, the Super Bowl, despite the best efforts of the NFL and its sponsors, is family programming, and not the appropriate venue for this sort of thing, but ultimately a split-second nip slip should not be the stuff of federal investigations.

What is disturbing is that the forcibly enforced second-class sexual citizen status of women is so ingrained into our culture that not even self-appointed First-Amendment violating bluenoses don’t even think to comment upon it. They’ve missed the point, and over on the other side of the argument, everyone saying “hey, no big deal” is missing the point as well.

Amy wrote a poem about our cat Lucy. It’s awesome.

David Fiore continues his immensely interesting Watchmenblogging with an analysis of Rorschach. “[A]t a certain point, Kovacs the man became indistinguishable from his moral judgements of the world”–naturally, sez Dave, this would eventually put him at odds with Dr. Manhattan, who refuses to pass judgement on anything. I’d never thought of the contrast between the two characters in those terms before.

I’d also never thought of Spider-Man/Peter Parker the way Dave breaks it down in that same post:

When we first meet him he’s an ostracized nerd–a nonentity. In more realistic fiction, this type of character only has two options open to him: either he continues to endure social oppression, or he becomes a “somebody” by “standing up for himself”, thus altering the power dynamic in his community. In the actual event–he does neither, thanks to the spider bite. Throughout Ditko’s run, at least, Parker remains the same bookish nerd he’s always been….Web-swinging is more like meditation, or an exorcism–it’s not Peter’s “true self” unleashed.

I think Dave’s hitting upon a unique feature of fantastic fiction–the fantasy, or the spectacle if you prefer, can be used formally to stand in for, transform, or replace traditional/realist psychological motivations and development. Why this unique and liberatory aspect is seen by anti-genre snobs as a bug and not a feature is something I’ll never understand! (However, I wonder if Spider-Man’s creative team–if not Lee & Ditko, then certainly some of their successors–see things quite this way. Watching the film, for example, do you not think we’re meant to believe that Spider-Man is Peter Parker’s true self, or at least the “true self” he wants to have? Spider-Man is clever, physically fit, creative, brave, a babe magnet, a protector of the innocent, and a seeker of justice. It’s worth noting that over the years (witness the current J. Michael Straczynski Amazing Spider-Man, for example), Peter Parker himself has become all these things as well….

As I mentioned yesterday, I’m really happy about Alan David Doane’s new series of five-question interviews–and clearly I’m not the only one. When I lamented the lack of high-quality interviews a while back, this was the type of antidote I had in mind.

But one person wasn’t so thrilled with yesterday’s interview with Journalista weblogger Dirk Deppey: comics blogosphere godfather NeilAlien. Neil feels–and rightly so, I think–that Dirk woefully mischaracterized the ‘Alien’s opinion on superhero hegemony in the Direct Market. Here’s his response, laying out his case to the contrary. In fairness to Dirk, I don’t think he was “maliciously mischaracterizing” Neil, but he did get Neil’s opinion wrong by almost 180 degrees.

Whoa. Now this is what I call high praise.

Well, it is a really good movie.

(Link courtesy of the awesome OneRing.net.)

Mickey Kaus nails the real problem with the Justin-Janet faux controversy: “It’s the feigned sexual assault, stupid!”

The issue isn’t nudity but the implicit endorsement of–searching for the right words here–acting out male fantasies of violent and invasive non-consensual sexual behavior.

(Emphasis Kaus’s.) In many ways this is of a piece with MTV’s other recent manufactured shock moments, the Tatu teen-girl underwear make-out party at the 2003 Movie Awards and the Britney-Madonna-Christina three-way at the 2003 VMAs. Both these phony lesbian displays and Justin’s stripping of Janet’s clothes (invariably and inexplicably referred to by the media as “Janet’s stunt”) involve women tortuously convoluting their sexuality in order to please the male audience. In all cases MTV’s plan was to feed the events into their endless hype autofellatio machine: running the clips on MTV News, showing the clips to guests on TRL, repackaging the clips into the invariable “MTV’s Most Shocking Moments” specials, and so forth, until they become an indelible part of the network’s identity. (Perhaps the most egregious example of this phenomenon is how MTV and VH1 run specials touting the breaking of racial boundaries in the early ’80s by Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” video–despite the fact that these very channels erected those very boundaries!)

The good thing about the controversy is that it involves CBS, which probably means Mel Karmazin is going to be directly involved with the in-house response. Hopefully the people at MTV who should have lost their jobs for this calculated, self-indulgent, misogynist horseshit long ago will finally get their comeuppance.

First up is Alan David Doane’s interview with the comicsblogger, Dirk Deppey. Dirk’s thoughts on the comics artform, the comics industry, and the blogging phenomenon are invaulable. Here’s a sample:

If you follow comics as compulsively as I do, weblogs have become essential reading, a fact due in large part to the democratic, almost Darwinian opportunity they provide. Anyone can start a weblog, after all, but nobody’s forcing people to read them. It’s only by having something significant, informative and entertaining to say that one can attract a readership these days; those that do it well earn their success accordingly — write well and write often, and other weblogs (and their readers) will notice, which in turn will get others to notice, and so on. Because of this, there’s an enormous range of opinions and perspective available out there, and the conversations produced in the blogosphere have often been quite valuable.

Sharp stuff, and part of Alan’s terrific series of five-question interviews. I hope he keeps them coming.

Next up is David Fiore‘s second installment of Watchmen analysis. Obviously Watchmen has been a hot topic around the comicsphere for the last couple of weeks, but here Dave comes up with some of the sharpest insights into Moore’s characters I’ve ever read. Here’s a couple:

[The Comedian] blows up every single time he appears–and this is very good characterization, as far as I’m concerned: like every person I’ve ever met who poses as a nihilist–the Comedian can’t take a joke…

and

Now, [Dr.] Manhattan is a nihilist through most of this story, in that he places no more value on one thing than another…. [but] One thing is certain–every once in a while, he remembers how miraculous it can be for someone else to buy you a beer. “Someone” can buy themselves a beer, but it’s nothing without that “else”. And you’d better believe in that–or else.

Gorgeous, and he’s promising more. I’m looking forward to it.

I’m watching a commercial for OrthoTriCyclen and wondering: If you’re making an ad for a birth control pill, isn’t it bad to use women who are too thin to menstruate?

…to everyone who donated or linked to my Pledge Drive. Your generosity meant a great deal to me, and was very helpful to me during this little bad-luck streak.

As a reward, one more bit of blog beautification!

—–

Drive boy dog boy

Dirty numb angel boy

In the doorway boy

She was a lipstick boy

She was a beautiful boy

And tears boy

And all in your innerspace boy

You had

hands girl boy

and steel boy

You had chemicals boy

I’ve grown so close to you

Boy and you just groan boy

She said comeover comeover

She smiled at you boy.

Drive boy dog boy

Dirty numb angel boy

In the doorway boy

She was a lipstick boy

She was a beautiful boy

And tears boy

And all in your innerspace boy

You had

hands girl boy

and steel boy

You had chemicals boy

I’ve grown so close to you

Boy and you just groan boy

She said comeover comeover

She smiled at you boy.

Let your feelings slip boy

But never your mask boy

Random blonde bio high density rhythm

Blonde boy blonde country blonde high density

You are my drug boy

You’re real boy

Speak to me and boy dog

Dirty numb cracking boy

You get wet boy

Big big time boy

Acid bear boy

Babes and babes and babes and babes and babes

And remembering nothing boy

You like my tin horn boy and get

Wet like an angel

Derail

You got a velvet mouth

You’re so succulent and beautiful

Shimmering and dirty

Wonderful and hot times

On your telephone line

And god and everything

On your telephone

And in walk an angel

And look at me your mom

Squatting pissed in a tube-

hole at Tottenham Court Road

I just come out of the ship

Talking to the most

Blonde I ever met

Shouting

Lager lager lager lager

Shouting

Lager lager lager lager

Shouting…

Lager lager lager

Shouting

Mega mega white thing

Mega mega white thing

Mega mega white thing

Mega mega

Shouting lager lager lager lager

Mega mega white thing

Mega mega white thing

So many things to see and do

In the tube hole true

Blonde going back to Romford

Mega mega mega going back to Romford

Hi mom are you having fun

And now are you on your way

To a new tension

headache

–Underworld, “Born Slippy.NUXX”

I spent part of Super Bowl Sunday reading Micah Harris & Michael Gaydos’ excellent graphic novel Heaven’s War, from the increasingly indie-feeling Image Comics. The book concerns the race between legendary occultist Aleister Crowley and legendary fantasy authors the Inklings (Charles Williams, C.S. Lewis, and J.R.R. Tolkien) to unravel the secrets of the Priory of Sion as encrypted in the church at Rennes-Le-Chateau.

At this point you probably fall into one of two camps: You are either saying “Holy Moses, I’ve got to get that!” or “Huh?” And if there’s a problem with this fascinating little book, it’s that it doesn’t go far enough to draw members of the latter group into the former. I’ve spent the last decade drenching myself in fantasy and occult esoterica, to the point where simply enumerating the names of the real-life figures who are characters in the book and the places and groups involved in the story is enough to tell me exactly what’s involved and what’s at stake. According to the notes offered by Harris at the back of the book, the published version of the graphic novel is much shorter than what he’d originally planned to produce. I can’t help but wonder if additional pages build-up, place-setting, and character development wouldn’t have been helpful to those readers who weren’t already familiar with the players and their milieux. In other words, to crib a criticism Tolkien levvied at his own novel, “the book is too short.”

That being said, I think the book still holds up: for its charming and involving depiction of the personalities of its four eccentric protagonists; for its deft and appropriately mystical exploration of conspiracy-theory metaphysics; for its gorgeous black-and-white art by Alias cartoonist Michael Gaydos, whose sensibilities in both action and portraiture are subtle yet perfectly clear; and for its ambition, tackling in relatively short order the type of mysteries of faith and history that were previously the exclusive comics territory of Moore & Campbell’s From Hell. If you enjoyed, for example, William Gull’s guided tour of London in that book, this will rivet you to your seat.

If the work of any of its characters appeals to you, please do pick up Heaven’s War. I continue to find myself thinking over the issues it tackles, and the images it offers.

Egon reports that volume 2 of David B.’s excellent Epileptic will not be individually published, as was volume 1; instead, the two will be released as a complete one-volume hardcover, by Pantheon Books. Good news for David B., this–being published in this format by this publisher may mean that the book will at long last get the recognition it deserves. I’m not wild about hardcovers, myself, and hope a one-volume softcover will eventually be produced, but overall I’m more happy for David B. (and the general movement of people who want to see good comics get widedpread recognition) than I am upset that I won’t be able to simply buy Volume 2 by itself.

Garth Ennis discusses the darker tone his series Punisher has taken on now that it’s moved to the adult-audiences MAX imprint, over at Newsarama. Personally, I’m quite happy about this. I always thought Ennis’s Road-Runner schtick bore rapidly diminishing returns, and the garish goofiness he employed on his old Punisher series (parapalegics, bear attacks, dwarf gangs, giant transsexual Russian cyborgs, etc.) was incredibly stupid and off-putting. It was always the serious moments–Vietnam flashbacks, the silent issue, the one-shot about Frank Castle hunting down and killing an old buddy from the Marines who’d gone insane, the Born miniseries–that stuck with me, and it’s great to see that that’s what Ennis is aiming for with the revamped series.

Also at Newsarama, Mike San Giacomo gives a rave review to Craig Thompson’s Blankets. Insert “I thought cartoony art was bad” joke here.

More Thompsony goodness can be found at Suicide Girls, where Daniel Robert Epstein interviews the Blankets author. Included is some upsetting information about how Thompson’s fundamentalist parents reacted to the book. (Link courtesy of the comment thread at the Newsarama article linked above.)

David Fiore gets on the Watchmen beat, arguing that by applying realistic psychological disorders to his super-characters, Alan Moore unwittingly undid the liberatory mechanisms of the superhero genre. I definitely see David’s point–after two decades of gloomy, unimaginative “realistic” takes on superheroes, how could you not?–but all things considered I’d prefer the genre remain open to multiple approaches, with both David’s prefered Silver Age personal-mythmaking and Moore’s psychopolitical metaphors available to creators and readers.

Bruce Baugh pines for the anything-goes superhero genre of yesterday–you know, the one that wasn’t too preoccupied with its own minutiae and therefore could exploit the gonzo energy of other genres and the pop-culture zeitgeist.

Dave Intermittent argues that baiting fanboys merely reinforces their self-aggrandizing sense of aggreivement, and also points out that to a specialist, minor variants and experiments really are majorly rewarding.

Mike Mignola, creator of Hellboy, is interviewed at Comic Book Resources. I’m not sure what’s more refreshing: His lack of pretension about his creation, or his excellent taste in other comics. (I know I saw this someplace else first, but since I don’t remember where, link courtesy of Tegan Gjovaag.)

Finally, expect a big Craig Thompson-related development on this very blog (hopefully) by the end of the week….

Those new anti-pot ads are even stupider than I thought.

Please stop saying how good the new Britney Spears song is. Just… stop.

Also, has last night’s Super Bowl Half-Time Titty Fiesta finally proven to everyone’s satisfaction that the MTV Pseudo-Controversy Machine has well and truly jumped the shark?

I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that I really, really love Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings movies, and brook no dissent. (You got that, Jakala, Miller, and Spratling?) But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a sense of humor about them. For example, and please pardon my Jerry, but what is the deal with so many characters “dying” but then not really being dead?

The other day I made a little list of everyone in the three LotR movies who appears to shuffle off to Valinor, only to pop back up several scenes later. I’ve also noted which of these occurrences have some grounding in the books, and which were just thrown in for gits and shiggles by P.J. and company. Did I miss any? Oh, I guess I should note that there are SPOILERS ahead, but let’s face it, you’ve seen the movies already.

THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING

* SAURON: “Death” Prologue sequence–Gets Ring chopped off his hand, explodes; Comeback Prologue sequence–“rumor grew of a Shadow in the East, whispers of a Nameless Fear.” Yes, this is in the book.

* GANDALF: “Death” In Isengard–Saruman kicks his ass, then rockets him several dozen stories up into the pitch-black tower or Orthanc until a thud is heard; Comeback Later on in Isengard–We find him on top of Orthanc, where raindrops keep fallin’ on his head. Not really in the book, though they do wonder what’s taking him so long.

* FRODO: “Death” At the Ford of Bruinen, after Arwen raises the river against the Ringwraiths–His eyes go blank, Arwen cries, “don’t give in, not now,” etc.; Comeback Next scene–After Elrond says the magic words, Frodo wakes up in Rivendell, where apparently you’re allowed to smoke in hospital bedrooms, if Gandalf’s behavior is any indication. Yes, this is in the book.

* RINGWRAITHS: “Death” At the Ford of Bruinen–Arwen uses the river to drown them and the horses they rode in on; Comeback In the Dead Marshes sequence in The Two Towers–One of them swoops overhead on a Fell Beast (it’s the Cadillac of evil Nazgul steeds), because apparently they were all really strong swimmers. Yes, this is in the book, though in the book it’s made immediately clear that they’re not dead at all.

* FRODO (II): “Death” In the Mines of Moria, Balin’s Tomb fight sequence–the Cave Troll skewers him with a spear; Comeback Same scene–Turns out he was wearing a mithril shirt, the world’s most durable lingerie. Yes, this is in the book, although in the book it’s a big orc, and not a troll.

* BALROG: “Death” In the Mines of Moria, Bridge of Khazad-Dum sequence–Gandalf uses magic to break the bridge apart, sending the Balrog plummeting, which I suppose indicates that those wings are vestigial; Comeback About five seconds later–The plummeting Balrog has the presence of mind to crack his flaming bullwhip and drag Gandalf down with him. Yes, this is in the book.

* GANDALF (II): “Death” In the Mines of Moria, Bridge of Khazad-Dum sequence–see above; Comeback In The Two Towers–Turns out Gandalf survived the fall (and the swim, and the climb, and the fight) and has been sent back to fight another day. Yes, this is in the book.

* SAM: “Death” In the River Anduin–Sam attempts to swim out to Frodo’s boat and goes under a third time; Comeback Several seconds later–Frodo reaches under and pulls him up. This little fakeout is a P.J. invention.

THE TWO TOWERS

* MERRY & PIPPIN: “Death” During the nighttime attack on the Uruk-hai raiders by the Riders of Rohan–a horse rears up, Pippin screams, the hooves come down, thud, and we’re meant to presume Merry met a similar fate; Comeback At the end of their long run through Rohan, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, and after being told by Eomer that their friends are probably dead, Aragorn Legolas and Gimli figure out that nope, they’re alive, as we see through flashbacks. This is sort of in the book, but Tolkien doesn’t make such a huge deal out of it–the prospect of them being dead is talked about for like two sentences.

* GRISHNAKH THE ORC: “Death” During the aforementioned attack–this orc who wants to eat the hobbits gets a spear in the back just before he can do so; Comeback In the aforementioned flashback–He wasn’t dead, just restin’, and he grabs Merry & Pippin as they try to escape the carnage, and then follows them into Fangorn Forest. Not in the book–In the book, his ugly ass just gets slaughtered by the Rohirrim lickety-split.

* ARAGORN: “Death” During the warg-rider attack–Aragorn plummets off a cliff because he gets stuck to a runaway warg; Comeback Several scenes later–He just peacefully floated down the river at the cliff bottom until he’s woken up by a wet dream and a horse. This one is most definitely not in the book, but hey, what’s one more fake death amongst friends?

THE RETURN OF THE KING

* PIPPIN (II): “Death” In Edoras–Pippin steals the Palantir from Gandalf, uses it, meets Sauron, bugs out, goes catatonic; Comeback Same scene–Gandalf manages to bring his fool of a tuchis back to consciousness. Sort of in the book, but we’re not really made to think he might be dead, as we are here.

* FARAMIR: “Death” During the charge on Osgiliath–The huge Orc army fires their arrows at his little band of merry men, and if that didn’t convince you he bought it, several scenes later we see Faramir’s horse drag his body back to Minas Tirith with two arrows sticking out of him; Comeback In the Citadel of Minas Tirith–Dr. Pippin Took, MD, astutely notices that he’s not dead, and spends the next chunk of the film trying to keep him from being killed by his crazy father. Yes, this is in the book. Also, I guess that if you want to kill someone from the line of Stewards, use three arrows–that’s what they shot into old Boromir, and it seemed to do the trick.

* GOLLUM: “Death” In the Mountains of Shadow, after Frodo “escapes” from Shelob’s Lair, only to tussle with poor Gollum and knock him over a cliff; Comeback On the slopes of Mount Doom, where he pops up to make trouble for Frodo and Sam just before they reach the Crack of Doom. No, not in the book–in the book, he just ditches Frodo and Sam in Shelob’s tunnels, leaving them for dead, then is forced to follow them through Mordor once his plan fails.

* FRODO (III): “Death” In the Mountains of Shadow, after “escaping” from Shelob’s lair, only to have the giant spider sneak up on him and sting him (apparently she aimed for a part of him not covered by the mithril undergarment)–Sam himself pronounces him dead after finding him wrapped up in spider-webs like a hairy-footed Laura Palmer; Comeback In the Mountains of Shadow, where a band of Orcs gleefully explains that he’s not dead, he’s stunned. Definitely in the book. It’s a huge plot point, in fact. Question, though: Both here and with the Cave Troll, why is it that every time Frodo is jabbed by an enemy, he looks like he’s taking a difficult dump?

* SHAGRAT THE ORC: “Death” This is the smaller and more talkative of the two Orc captains that find Frodo’s body and fight over his swag–the one who gets kicked through the trap door and is promptly mobbed by his angry ersatz partner’s cronies; Comeback Several scenes later–Sam makes his way into the Orc tower to find Frodo, who is suddenly set upon by Shagrat, basically the only Orc to survive the internecine battle (despite having personally started it). No, not in the book, though the fight certainly is.

* FRODO (IV) AND SAM: “Death” In and on Mount Doom–First Frodo falls off the rocks inside the Crack of Doom, but hangs on, then Frodo and Sam race out of the Crack, only for their friends to watch in horror as the whole mountain explodes, then we see that they survived the big eruption, only to succumb at last to exhaustion and hopelessness on their lone rock above the rivers of lava; Comeback In a scene that may single-handedly redeem the legacy of Don Henley, Glenn Frey et al, three giant Eagles (with Gandalf on board) swoop in at the last minute and rescue the unconscious hobbits from a fate only Dr. Evil could love. The constant “are they dead? no! are they dead? no! are they dead? no!” alternations aren’t really in the book, but they do pretty much give themselves up for dead, until the Eagles save the day.

—-

Well, I think that about covers it. Please be sure to let me know if I missed anything.

And if you think that was comprehensive, just wait till you see my list of Super-Tight Close-Ups On Characters Whose Luminous Eyes Are Welling With Tears!

Dave Intermittent assembles his own high school soundtrack. What’s yours?

Thank you again to the kindly folks who’ve contributed or linked to my little Pledge Drive here at ADDTF. Hitting the tip jar to your left really does help out around here, so please consider it if you haven’t done so already.

Now, on with the beautification!

—–

I was waiting for a cross-town train in the London Underground when it struck me

That I’ve been waiting since birth to find a love that would look and sound like a movie

So I changed my plans I rented a camera and a van and then I called you

“I need you to pretend that we are in love again.” And you agreed to

I want so badly to believe that “there is truth, that love is real”

And I want life in every word to the extent that it’s absurd

I greased the lens and framed the shot using a friend as my stand-in

The script it called for rain but it was clear that day so we faked it

The marker snapped and I yelled “quiet on the set” and then called “action!”

And I kissed you in a style Clark Gable would have admired (I thought it classic)

I want so badly to believe that “there is truth, that love is real”

And I want life in every word to the extent that it’s absurd

I know you’re wise beyond your years but do you ever get the fear

That your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?

–The Postal Service, “Clark Gable”

John Kerry lost my vote last night. Here’s how:

The war on terror is less–it is occasionally military, and it will be, and it will continue to be for a long time. And we will need the best-trained and the most well-equipped and the most capable military, such as we have today. But it’s primarily an intelligence and law enforcement operation….

If you sat around and tried, you could not find a characterization of the War on Terror further from my own, nor one further from one which (I believe) will keep me from having to inhale 2,800 of my fellow New Yorkers ever again. Goodbye, Mr. Kerry. (Quote courtesy of James Taranto.)

Phoebe Gloeckner’s most recent attempt to explain why she’s reluctant to classify her work as autobiographical caused a good deal of consternation, both pro and con. In the comment thread after that entry, a lot of folks seem to argue that questions about this topic are ridiculous, which of course is itself ridiculous. On the other hand you had Gary Groth’s response, in which he astutely and correctly defends the critical validity of examining how an artist’s life influences that artist’s work, then proceeds to bugger it up with needlessly confrontational invective. I know what you’re thinking: “What? Gary Groth, using needlessly confrontational invective? Get outta here!” Try to contain your disbelief. (Question: What does the Bush administration have to do with whether or not Phoebe Gloeckner stars in her own comics? Gary Groth reports, you decide!) Then Lorna Miller starts taking potshots at Gary, and, well, it’s TCJ.com messboard time.

The good news, though, is that Phoebe took this opportunity to offer up the clearest, most cogent explanation yet of the relationship between her life, her comics, and the truth:

I won’t deny that Minnie does things I have done, and that things happen to her that have happened to me, but she, unlike me, having been created, is who she is and will remain so, unchanged now. I make no attempt to create “documentary.”

It comes down to semantics, in the end, or semantics and intent. The presentation of the objective reality of her own life is not in Phoebe’s game plan, so she cannot classify her work as autobiographical. At the same time, the events in the work, and the intent behind the creation of the work, do come from her own life.

As I’ve said before, it’s not inherently purient or myopic or sexist or monomaniacal to ask such questions of Phoebe. I asked them myself, and am usually interested to read her answers when others ask. They’re important questions, in fact. But the heated debate they’ve somehow engendered is an unnecessary and unwelcome distraction. And it’s worth noting that it’s the work of one of the very best cartoonists on Earth that we’re being distracted from.