“That wasn’t necessary!” “The entire film wasn’t ‘necessary.'”

Yesterday evening, in a moviegoing experience that was like the blogger equivalent of the Yalta conference, Jason Adams, Matthew Perpetua, and I saw Crank: High Voltage. I am thisclose to slapping my hands down on the table and saying “Sorry, folks, that’s it, that’s all I got!” I don’t even know where to begin, I honestly don’t. I just wrote a long list of all the amazing, at times almost literally unbelievable things that appear on screen in this film, but deleted it when I realized what a tremendous disservice that would be to you, the readers, who really, really, really need to walk into this movie having as little idea what to expect as possible. Shit, Matthew hadn’t even seen Crank 1! And I’m sure that just made the experience all the more, literally, amazing. Like an unholy cross between Chuck Norris’s Invasion U.S.A., Troma, and Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, the movie was wildly and needlessly experimental, and was offensive even to me at times, and had no redeeming social value whatsoever except to punch you in the face repeatedly with a fist made of entertainment. I’d be amazed all over again if I see a movie I enjoy more than this one for the rest of the year. I beg you to track it down if it’s still anywhere near you and see for yourself.

11 Responses to “That wasn’t necessary!” “The entire film wasn’t ‘necessary.'”

  1. COOP says:

    “… no redeeming social value whatsoever except to punch you in the face repeatedly with a fist made of entertainment.”

    If that isn’t a blurb on the eventual DVD cover, the whole marketing dept. should get sacked.

  2. Move over, Pete Hammond of Hollywood.com!

  3. Jog says:

    I’m glad they put the Lloyd Kaufman cameo after the Ultraman homage, where it belongs.

  4. Curt says:

    Whenever someone asks if something they object to was “necessary,” my stock response (especially if I like what they’re complaining about) is always, “No, it’s luxury.”

  5. Jason says:

    I’m Stalin then.

  6. Matt M. says:

    Spider sense tingling…

  7. Wintle says:

    I was worried that you and Jason wouldn’t get the chance to see it on the big screen. Second favourite movie of the year so far, and I can’t see anything knocking it down any further.

  8. Crank: High Voltage–because graphic on-screen breast mutilation should know no gender.

  9. Carnival of souls

    * I saw Crank: High Voltage on Monday night and Terminator Salvation on Tuesday night; click the links for my take on each. * Please note that this means I have seen neither the Gossip Girl season finale nor my…

  10. I went and saw C:HV twice in the theatre. I can’t see it NOT making my best of 2009 list. There were so many Shinya Tsukamoto, Takashi Miike and Sogo Ishii visual cues thrown into the mix that it felt like a love letter to Japanese cinema.

    I sat there thinking this is our grindhouse experience (with a 20+ million dollar budget). Thanks for writing this “necesary” post.

  11. Carnival of souls part two

    * Part one is here. * As you may have heard, this is a landmark week for popular culture: Crank: High Voltage comes out on DVD today. I…I just can’t describe…please see this movie. It makes everything else look like…

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