Read: Song of Susannah–“6th Stanza: The Castle Allure”; “7th Stanza: The Ambush”

If you know me well, you could have probably guessed that I’d get excited when they started mentioning Discordia. Basically that’s just another word for the primordial soup in the King-verse, though, and not a crazy goddess, so oh well. A lot of other “oh well” answers are forthcoming in this chunk, mainly in chapter 6. Mia is white, she might be a demon, there’s like six big-deal demons who are each both male and female, the one who had sex with Roland in the willow jungle and the one who had sex with Detta when Jake crossed are the same demon, that demon took Roland’s sperm and impregnated Detta/Susannah/Mia with it so that’s whose baby Susannah is carrying, his name is Mordred just like in the Arthurian legends and he’s gonna kill his dad, blah blah blah. It’s a boring cosmology.

Meanwhile, the evil genius overlord of the vampires and the low men and shit, Richard P. Sayre, devises a foolproof plan to kill Roland and Eddie by sending in the same mafia goons who the pair wiped out in an alternate reality earlier in their adventures together. How could that possibly fail?

A final self-indulgent twist sees our heroes get rescued by some just-folks flannel-wearing “ayuh”-saying guy in Maine. So in a series that, need I remind you, began as Conan starring the Man with No Name and at one point included a giant cyborg bear, we now spend a paragraph or three marveling at how people from Maine pronounce words like “boathouse.” (Bwut-huss, if you were wondering, which you weren’t.) Turns out that’s how the people in the Calla pronounced it too! Isn’t that amazing? No, you’re right, it’s not.

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