It’s funny–I didn’t HATE Pirates 3, and I usually either like movies or HATE them, or at the very least I leave feeling angry that I wasted my time. I simply didn’t like this. It wasn’t pretentious and it wasn’t insulting, which are the things that really piss me off about movies. It was really good-natured and easy to go along with, even root for. It’s just that GOD, ENOUGH with the deals and double-deals and double-crosses and triple-crosses already! It’s 2 1/2 hours of negotiating and 15 minutes of fighting. There are other things that I could pick apart too (including some major, major problems with structure and motivation and failing to meet consciously constructed audience expectations) but I won’t do that until more people get the chance to see the movie–the main thing is just, HOLY MOSES, SHUT UP WITH THE NEGOTIATING ALREADY!
That’s where the movie’s massive length hurts it the most. To At World’s End‘s credit it’s not BORING per se–it’s always lovely to look at, and every single actor seems to be having the time of their lives. But scene after scene after scene, I sat there thinking, “Why do we need to see this? And for that matter, why do we need to see it for so LONG?” There are so many shots of characters doing takes as they watch something else happen, it’s like they’re modeling what the audience is supposed to be doing or something. To be fair, it’s not in the standard slack-jawed whispered-“wowwwww!” Chris Columbus with Danny Elfman tinklings beneath it Harry Potter standing there and gaping mode that filmmakers employ like the wide-eyed-awe equivalent of a sitcom laugh track–it’s more like every character is reenacting a message board post consisting solely of the phrase “WTF?” all the time–but still. Imagine a whole movie of the part in The Thing where they stand there watching the spider-head and going “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” and you’re almost there.
Do you think it’s still worth seeing? Or should I give it a pass ala Spidey 3 and X-Men 3 and Star Wars 3 and Godfather 3…
Um…yeah? I dunno, my curiosity would have driven me to see it even if someone had warned me what I was in for. I don’t regret seeing it. (I DID see it for free, though, which helps.) As I said, it’s a very good-natured film even though it’s kind of a bust, so if you liked the first two you’ll probably get something out of it.
I liked X-Men 3, by the way. Probably more than the other two. Don’t believe the hype!