A propos of a chapter in Chuck Palahniuk’s Haunted (about which more later, probably) and my wife’s voice student’s claim that she saw a dinosaur in Canada: Bigfoot Sounds, recordings allegedly made of the vocalizations of the North American sasquatch. Some are more obviously fake than others, but quite a few are pretty damn bone-chilling, no matter what they actually may be; before Peter Jackson made his Lord of the Rings movies, I thought these would make excellent Nazgul screams.

The Horrorblog Update Page is already paying dividends–for me, at least. Here are a few of the dark delights I’ve found thus far:

Discovered today at Dr. Mysterian’s Essential Ghoul’s Record Shelf is this terrific analysis of Robin Hardy’s brilliant film The Wicker Man, all written by way of introducing an mp3 from the film’s Paul Giovanni soundtrack. And if it gets you to watch the movie (either again or–and I’m insanely jealous–for the first time), so much the better.

Next, courtesy of Exclamation Mark comes Empty World, a website dedicated to post-apocalyptic fiction. As you might have guessed, narratives of societal breakdown in the face of some cataclysmic disaster really toot my horn–my interest in zombies is really just an offshoot of the same fascination that leads me to dig The Road Warrior, The Stand, a lot of Stephen King’s short fiction–hell, even The Warriors has hints of it. A great idea for a site.

Not from the Update Page, but still horrifying: Courtesy of Wretchard comes Totalitarian Art, a website for a 1999 course at Northwestern University that among other relics of the fascists, Nazis, and Communists features this scale diagram of the statue of Lenin that was to have stood atop the Palace of the Soviets in Moscow:

Tough for zombies to beat that.

Finally, another great idea for a site: Old Haunts, Keith Milford’s collection of old photos and art from Halloweens gone by.

Boo! And remember, there’s more where all that came from…

As I was driving to work today I saw, out of the corner of my eye a logo on a delivery van. And if I hadn’t used google to dredge up proof of its existence, I’m not sure I’d believe that I actually did see it. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you paint manufacturer Sherwin-Williams’ logo:

Is this the most horrifying corporate logo you’ve ever seen in your life, or what? Forget the Trilateral Commission–at least we now know what the Illuminati’s REAL front organization is…

Now this is a thing of beauty:

Boing Boing reports on a zombie flashmob roaming the streets of San Francisco. Pertinent links may be found here, here, and here.

My only question, besides “why couldn’t this have taken place on Long Island?”, is “were they slow zombies or fast zombies?” My guess is slow. This is legendarily mellow San Fran we’re talking about, after all.

A big hello to ADDTF’s new visitors and readers! May I suggest that after perusing the Horrorblog Update Page, you check out my pride ‘n’ joy, The Outbreak? It’s my account of my life during a major zombie infestation (not an apocalypse, and it’s a distinction with a difference I assure you). I think you’ll like it.

I’ve also written some horror-tinged comics you may want to check out. (Watch out for “1995” if you happen to be at work or around impressionable eyes, though.) And I did a whole huge horrorblogging marathon a couple years back, with all sorts of papers and essays from college and big long movie reviews and such sprinkled throughout. And if you’re in the mood for some yuks, you could do worse than All Too Flat proper–just click around those tabs above and see where the day takes you. The sites in my blogroll have the ADDTF imprimatur too.

Finally, if you want my webmasters and hosts to love you forever, click through to those three ads you see on your right. Hell, use tabbed browsing and you’ll barely even know you did it.

And I think that about covers it. Welcome!

The original incarnation of Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat (at least once I hit my stride) was a comicsblog. When I started, there were just a handful of people regularly blogging about comics; it was a thrill to watch that number grow, and that community mature and thrive, before my very eyes. I like to think that my relentless link- and think-blogging had a hand in that, though the credit should really go to the Blogfather of us all, Neil, and the great Journalista, Dirk.

But the final piece of the puzzle, the thing that transformed the comics blogosphere from a small group of people talking amongst themselves to a big giant self-perpetuating communal chunk of the Internet, was Dave “Babar” G.’s Comic Weblog Update Page. The Comics Weblog Update-A-Tron 3000, as it is affectionately known, keeps running track of each time each comics blog is updated–it’s the world’s largest comics-centric blogroll and the most comprehensive comics-centric live bookmark page all rolled into one. It’s one-stop shopping for the ‘sphere, it enables you to keep tabs on what everyone is doing and saying, and (incidentally) it generates tons of hits for each page listed on it. For the comics blogosphere, it was a godsend.

Regular readers of ADDTF will know that the emergence of the horrorblogosphere has been a subject of fascination and delight for me ever since I started blogging here again (and at The Outbreak, for obvious reasons). But psyched as I was to discover all these kindred spirits, I found myself visiting their sites a lot less frequently than their comicsblogging brethren, simply because the Comic Weblog Update Page had spoiled me so. And thusly, and idea was born:

Where the Monsters Go: The Horrorblog Update Page.

It works just like the CWUP: get your blog an RSS feed, start pinging blo.gs (many blogging platforms do this automatically, but I like to do it manually at Ping-O-Matic), let me know you want to be on the site, then I’ll check out your blog. If it qualifies–and all that means is “if it talks about horror in any way shape or form with some frequency”–I’ll throw it on up there.

Please keep in mind that the blogs you’ll find on there now are just the ones I’m currently aware of. I scoured my blogroll, then scoured the blogrolls of the blogs on my blogroll, and here’s what I came up with. If there are noticeable absences, there’s a chance they don’t ping blo.gs, but it’s more likely that I just missed ’em, so please let me know. The more help and feedback I get from you all, the better a resource for the horrorblogosphere Where the Monsters Go will become.

Two special thanks must be made at this point: First to Dave G.–the hard work was his, and we pretty much just ripped him off; second to Ken Bromberg, member of the All Too Flat triumvirate and webmaster extraordinaire–he’s the one who set all this up at my behest, and he’s basically the man.

Enough of my yakkin’. Click here and start exploring. There’s a lot of horror on this Internet. Here’s hoping we’ve made it a little easier to find.

…will be happening for the horror blogosphere around these parts shortly. Watch this space.

Apparently, a murder has been solved on a blog. More here. Blogger John Allore, who maintains a a website dedicated to the investigation of his sister’s still-unsolved disappearance in 1978, blogged about a similar case that occurred earlier this month, and an anonymous commenter provided a theory that, if a recent arrest in the case is any indication, may well be true. Fascinating and chilling, this is one for the Infocult files (indeed, my first thought was “this must be another fictionblog“). And in a way it serves as a relatively uplifting counterpoint to the case of Joseph Edward Duncan, who wrote on his blog that “the demons have taken over” four days before killing a family of five.

(Link courtesy of Glenn Reynolds.)

A couple of quick items:

The Yahoo mailing list for the very good horror fictionblog project Dionaea House was updated today by site creator Eric Heisserer. Money quote:

Wheels are still turning at Warner Brothers as we get closer to a green light for The Dionaea House. The producers have begun hunting for a director who understands the tone and feel of the story, and some of their choices are quite exciting. I don’t want to jinx anything just yet, but soon as a director comes on board, I’ll let this list know.

Meanwhile (and I hope the Dark But Shining boys will pardon me for walking their beat), the Internet Archive has made Robert Wiene’s seminal German horror film The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari available for free download. This is a remarkably beautiful, creepy, and complex film even by today’s standards–simply put, it’s a must-see.

That’s all!

Has everyone seen this UK TV promo for Lost, directed by David LaChapelle and using the show’s cast in a sort of strange music video for Portishead’s song “Numb”? No? Well, you have now.

I really like this passage from Julia Turner’s Slate piece on Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince:

[J.K. Rowling is] not using Harry to make points about terrorism. She’s using terrorism to make points about Harry. Rowling culls the scariest elements of modern life and uses them as a kind of shorthand, a quick way to instill fear.

I hadn’t thought about it in that exact way before, but I think it describes the situation perfectly. I think the thing that has most intrigued me about the series as it’s gone on is the way the mechanics of Voldemort and his minions the Death Eaters have slowly transformed from nebulous fantasy-stock Dark Lordisms to real down-and-dirty hands-on torture and, especially, murder. As compelling as Tolkien’s Sauron is, there’s something impersonal in his grand-scale plottings and massive armies; Voldemort, on the other hand, has his cult members break into houses, schools, and government offices and execute people. I think Rowling likely went this route because unlike most fantasy villains, Voldemort does not control territory, not even a castle or fortress. Quite like terrorist cells or organized crime gangs, he and his followers are everywhere and nowhere, and when they strike, it’s with individuated strikes against civilians. It’s wetwork.

Haunted houses, werewolves, demons, Dracula, and lots and lots of zombies: Genre-based fictionblogging is where it’s at. Lately I’ve found a couple of sites to add to that roster:

Velvet Marauder, a long-running semi-parodic superhero blog run by David Campbell, proprietor of the deservedly popular comics humor site Dave’s Long Box;

and Siege Mentality, a new zombie blog by Crobuzon that appears, if Crobuzon’s comment at my zombie blog The Outbreak is any indication, to be operating in the fictional world I’ve already established. Neat! I’m curious to see where he goes with things–most zombie blogs tilt to a far more survivalist slant than I’ve given my own, and indeed the mechanics of the zombie outbreak I’m chronicling were designed to reflect this preference.

Finally, on an unrelated topic, David Edelstein at Slate defends the right of Steven Spielberg–of genre, really–to tackle real-life tragedy. (He also rejects screenwriter David Koepp’s interpretation of the film’s politics. (Hey, the horrorblogosphere today, the poliblogosphere tomorrow!)) In one passage he echoes what I’ve been telling people who ask about the movie:

[War of the Worlds] has more in common with Schindler’s List and Saving Private Ryan than with Raiders of the Lost Ark and Jurassic Park.

And he even throws in the horror-fan CW that Night of the Living Dead is one of the best depictions of late-’60s turmoil ever made. We’ve come a long way, baby!

Spoilers galore. Highlight to read.

So, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I’m not sure what to make of Snape killing Dumbledore, as well as Malfoy actually being a Death Eater-in-training. Despite the fact that the formula of the series (see link here) is “Harry spends a few hundred pages being told he’s wrong, but then in the end it turns out that he’s right and everybody else is wrong,” I STILL thought they were just hitting the whole “Snape is still a Death Eater and Draco’s up to no good! Seriously! Listen!” thing too hard for it to be totally borne out–esp. when Harry’s obsession with Draco’s supposed malfeasance starts distracting him from the supposedly more important mission regarding Slughorn’s memory that Dumbledore had assigned him. But lo and behold, Harry is once again shown to be right and everyone else was wrong to have doubted him. I can’t tell if this is supposed to be taken at face value or not–if the former, then to be frank the writing is a little weak. But then I’ve always thought that about these books. I mean, the big prophecy that we spend the whole last book trying to figure out is that Harry and Voldemort are bound by fate to confront each other, and one will destroy the other? No shit, Sherlock! (see link here)

And how about that Spider-Man movie ending, with Harry breaking up with Ginny “for her own good”? Many comics critics hate the whole “my superherodom causes the women in my life to suffer–how awful for me!” thing because it uses the suffering of women as a means toward supposedly making the men more interesting, rather than treating women as people in their own right for whom their own suffering means more than a character-building exercise for the super-men in their lives–but now here’s the biggest author in the world, who happens to be a woman, doing the exact same thing!

Well, duh. This page just happens to convey this more literally than usual.

Zombiewood brings you graphically, convincingly zombified renditions of big Hollywood celebrities, through the magic of photoshop.

Note one: I posted that Willem Defoe one because it’s the least likely to freak out people who might not want to see this sort of thing–trust me, they get a lot worse, and therefore a lot better, than that. Halle Berry and Charlize Theron are truly stunning.

Note two: The link leads you just to the most recent of several rounds of zombie-celeb pics–use that “View Related Contests” togglebar and feat your eyes.

I think this is some very creepy stuff. Thank you, Internet.

I wasn’t the slightest bit interested in any of the bands at the Siren Festival this year. Take your dull hipster rock and shove it, man.

The best dance band in the world (maybe the best anything band in the world, acutally), Underworld, has a new song out. It’s stunning, but then you knew that it would be.

(Link courtesy of One Louder.)

J. Donelson of the excellent comics blog the Pickytarian directs us, almost unwittingly it would seem, to the fine horror-tinged work of his wife, artist Amy Talluto. Check out this series of transmogrified pin-up poses (complete with double-entendre postcard taglines) in which the bathing beauties have been replaced with average-sized women. Well, with their bodies, at least. Their heads are nowhere to be found. Talluto’s statement on the series emphasizes the drawings’ critique of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue aesthetic, but that could have been accomplished simply through the self-portraiture aspect of the project; chop those heads off and you’ve got a new, violent, eerie animal on your hands. Take a look.

Two comics-related items of note that I’m reasonably sure I can talk about:

1) The final (I think?) piece I wrote for The Comics Journal before taking my current job, my review of Paradise Kiss, is featured in issue #269, which came out this week. It’s the long-anticipated shoujo manga issue, so do check it out.

2) Partyka‘s Matt Wiegle was once again kindly enough to draw a comic I wrote. The result, deceptively entitled “Pornography” though it’s quite safe for work, can now be found here. I hope you enjoy it; perhaps you’ll check out the other comics I’ve written as well.

In response to the bit in my Land of the Dead review where I discuss the zombie’s comparative lack of vampire-style formal conventions (wooden stakes, sucking blood, nocturnal, that sort of thing), Tom Collins has decided to show me up by creating an absurdly comprehensive post chronicling just how many variations both the vampire and zombie myths have in the movies. Truly a masterpiece of linkblogging.

Courtesy of the indispensable Bryan Alexander comes a project close to my heart: a werewolf blog. That’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout, people. Actually, I haven’t read much of it yet, but flipping through the final few entries I appreciate that the blog doesn’t really have an ending in the style of a traditional narrative; the writer understands that blogging is not just writing a novel in daily installments.

Shhhh, big secret: I’ve never seen a single Italian zombie movie. Not even Zombi 2, for pete’s sake! (And I’ve also only ever seen one giallo—Deep Red. My Italo-tyro status is one of the things that make me a lousy horror fan.) So I’m happy to hear (from Steven at Corpse Eaters) that all of the Tombs of the Blind Dead movies are coming out on DVD. They sound nice and hideous.

Finally, file this under horror in unexpected places: “Four Kicks,” the latest video by hipster redneck-rockers Kings of Leon. Previously best known for their dubious insistence that they’ve never listened to Creedence Clearwater Revival, they’re likely to make quite a splash with the graphically violent brawl depicted here. The video’s innovation is to freeze the action whenever the lead singer is singing, allowing the viewer to see brightly lit close-ups on a woman’s face just before it’s about to be pounded with the butt of a fire extinguisher, or an exploded lamp the second after it’s been smashed over a man’s head. Unfortunately I can’t find a nice-and-easy permalink to direct you to–RCA’s music video page appears to be one where old videos are cleared away to make room for new ones, Kings of Leon’s official website is all Flash so I can’t actually link directly to their video page, and in a display of fuckheadery typical for the network, MTV.com’s copy of the video is not Mac-compatible. But it won’t take you more than five seconds to find the video either of the first two sites. Note that I actually recommend you watch the Real video version rather than the Quicktime one–even in hi res, the QT video is a blurry mess. Check it out, and if you like what you see keep your eyes peeled for it on your better music-video TV shows for a crystal-clear version.

…deep in the throes of San Diego Deprivation Syndrome…

…need infusion of panel discussions, $4 water, and shopping spree at the Comic Relief and Bud Plant booths STAT…

Well, at least I’m learning something: This is the last time I’ll miss an SDCC.