Yesterday evening, in a moviegoing experience that was like the blogger equivalent of the Yalta conference, Jason Adams, Matthew Perpetua, and I saw Crank: High Voltage. I am thisclose to slapping my hands down on the table and saying “Sorry, folks, that’s it, that’s all I got!” I don’t even know where to begin, I honestly don’t. I just wrote a long list of all the amazing, at times almost literally unbelievable things that appear on screen in this film, but deleted it when I realized what a tremendous disservice that would be to you, the readers, who really, really, really need to walk into this movie having as little idea what to expect as possible. Shit, Matthew hadn’t even seen Crank 1! And I’m sure that just made the experience all the more, literally, amazing. Like an unholy cross between Chuck Norris’s Invasion U.S.A., Troma, and Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, the movie was wildly and needlessly experimental, and was offensive even to me at times, and had no redeeming social value whatsoever except to punch you in the face repeatedly with a fist made of entertainment. I’d be amazed all over again if I see a movie I enjoy more than this one for the rest of the year. I beg you to track it down if it’s still anywhere near you and see for yourself.
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