The Food Network just announed Worst Cooks in America After Dark. It’s the same idea as the regular version — Food Network celebrity chefs train a bunch of hopeless amateurs in the culinary arts — but the twist is that Chefs Anne Burrell and Robert Irvine work nude. The second I heard about it I thought “Man, isn’t that the Food Network all over?” To the channel’s executives, when it comes to programming, anything that’s worth doing once is worth doing over and over again; putting the new show back-to-back with The Bareassed Contessa only heightens the been-there-done-that feel.
But I have to hand it to ’em: What they lack in originality they more than make up for in addictive watchability. I don’t think I need to tell you what an obvious instant-hit concept Food Feuds Nude is, for example — the appeal of a show in which famous local restaurant rivalries in major metropolitan areas across America are settled by a naked bald man in his forties is self-evident. But when Chef Michael Symon stripped nude and evaluated the pies of legendary New Haven, Connecticut pizzerias Pepe’s and Sally’s based on crust, sauce, and cheese, I found myself excitedly hollering at the screen, and I don’t think it’s just the fact that I spent my bright college years in the Elm City talking. Even the way he sopped up the grease with a napkin before taking that first bite was good television. And it’s not like the channel’s not willing to flip the script, by the way — Rachael Ray’s CFNM Meals, starring Ray and her embarrassed-looking but generally game husband John Cusimano, is an enjoyable variation on the theme; I for one am using my EVOO and garbage bowl in a whole new way now.
Beyond their go-to template, the Food Network continues to rely heavily on ginger celebrity-chef sensation Bobby Flay. According to reports, two new shows starring this fixture of American cuisine are in the works. First up is Flay vs. Chutney, in which Bobby sees how long he can survive on a diet of nothing but mango chutney. If it’s a hit, and if he lives, apparently the net’s banking big on Throwdown with Bobby Flay and Poblano Peppers: The Iron Chef tours the U.S.A., pelting unsuspecting chefs with poblano peppers.