* STC news: Marvel is reviving its What The–?! title as a series of animated action-figure parodies, and I’m going to be helping to write it. But the main man in charge is the great animator and bon vivant Alex Kropinak, who I believe is the sole responsible party for the video below. The way he makes the “Bruce” non sequitur work for him is just killer.
* I’ve been known to blog about a variety of real-world horror-related topics, from cryptozoology to serial killers. Here are some updates from two of the least pleasant real-world horror subcategories.
* The state of the beast: I can’t decide which passage from this report about the chimpanzee who killed a friend of his owner before being shot to death by police is the more horrifying and heartbreaking–this one…
After a few minutes, the dispatcher asked if the chimp was still with Herold’s friend.
“He’s eating her,” Herold said.
…or this one…
At first, officers did not see the animal, Conklin said. The chimp returned and tried to get into one of the officer’s vehicles. The officer shot him several times at 2-foot range, and all of the shots landed in the animal’s upper torso, Larrabee said. One of its teeth was found near the car.
The wounded chimp fled, and police followed a blood trail to the rear of the house, where the animal had returned to its living quarters and died.
Via Bryan Alexander, who notes that the original link hosts an audio file of the 911 call from which its quotes are taken and which I can’t bear to listen to.
* Real-life torture porn: Army Spc. Brandon Neely offers first-hand testimony regarding prisoner abuse and torture at Guantanamo Bay’s Camp X-Ray. Meanwhile, Glenn Greenwald and Andrew Sullivan respond to this Charlie Savage New York Times piece on disturbing areas of continuity between Bush and Obama policies regarding the rights of detainees. Both argue against taking the most absolute pessimistic stance regarding the Obama administration’s actions thus far—I’ve learned first-hand that in some cases such pessimism stems from “nyah nyah told you so” agitation by the pro-torture right (in whose case it’s actually optimism), or by “nothing changes” cynics, or by go-along-to-get-along “centrist” D.C. CW mavens who perhaps believe that Obama’s acquiescence in these matters will lessen their own implication in their original Bush-era implementation—but they forcefully encourage vigilance rather than blind trust regarding such issues as rendition, indefinite detention, and state secrets.
* I think people who are upset at how goofy several of the recently released Watchmen clips look and sound are forgetting the fact that there’s a lot of goofy-looking and goofy-sounding shit in the original comic. That was sort of the point, in part. The question is whether Zack Snyder is onto that, or whether he’s bought into the SUPERHEROES IS SERIOUS BUSINESS mentality of the modern fanboy and is blissfully unaware of his own goofiness. U-DECIDE! Click the link for the footage, and keep in mind I’m the guy who defended The Spirit (but still hasn’t seen it–screw you, Loews).
* Speaking of Watchmen, there’s going to be a 3 hour 10 minute DVD director’s cut, which will include 44 minutes of scenes that didn’t make the theatrical cut, 15 minutes of the Tales of the Black Freighter cartoon, and 1 hour 12 minutes of slow motion.
* Tori Amos’s lamely titled upcoming album inspired my pal and ADDTF comment-thread regular Shaggy to create an obviously Photoshopped gag cover that duped Perez Hilton! I love the internet.
* Lord of the Rings cakes! Almost literally unbelievable. (Hat tip: The Missus.)
* Finally: Do you want to see more pictures of Kate Winslet? Sure, we all do!
Via the utterly indispensable Marilyn Loves Kate. If only someone would launch a Bowie Loves Beyoncé blog, I’d never turn my computer off. (Actually, you know what? Stay tuned.)
I love the internet SO MUCH sometimes.
It’s funny what can happen overnight when you upload and tag a picture on Flickr.
Watched those clips yesterday. I don’t mind the Ozymandias scene…at all. In fact, of all the scenes it felt the most natural. That Sally and Laurie scene is really…um…
I think I’m starting to wrap my head around how Snyder has tackled this thing. I’ll need to stew in it for a while, maybe even wait until the 6th to see it all hooked together, but it feels like the problem isn’t that Snyder doesn’t get the story, it’s that he hasn’t gone out of his way to make shit MORE subtle than it is in the book. It’s as if he’s accentuated all the most obvious, mawkish, banal bits of Watchmen and stripped it of any nuance…which, as you point out, is a rare commodity in the book to begin with.
If that’s true, then I think my biggest challenge will be accepting the movie on Snyder’s terms, and trying to roll with the mutation he’s given birth to. Some mutations, like Blade Runner and Jaws, are better than their sources…I don’t for a minute think this will be the case, but it may turn out that Snyder makes a better movie than he does a good Watchmen adaption, if that makes sense.
Oh, and speaking of real life horror; tell me you saw this:
http://www.darkhorizons.com/news/13327/jason-voorhees-gets-attacked/
That’s an interesting take on it, Sean. And you’re right, he’s obviously not going the Godfather Part II route with this thing. It would have been interesting to see a Watchmen movie directed by a realist rather than a stylist. That said, I’ve got nothing but love for Dawn of the Dead and 300, so I’ll look forward to Watchmen until such time as Watchmen itself forces me to do otherwise.
Oh, I would have loved to have seen Paul Greengrass’ version that was in the works. He’s a stylist too, but his style is hyper-intensified reality. Although, and it’s weird to think about this, but when you look at anyone who has been attached to the property, from Gilliam to Aronofsky, all of them are visual stylists. None of them makes what you call realist cinema.
Maybe this is a property that should be remade every five or six years from now on…like different covers of a solid song, each bringing out something interesting; a never-ending string of Watchmen films – by David Lynch, by Peter Jackson, by Chan-wook Park, and so on…