Tonight I tried and failed to see Frank Miller’s The Spirit at one of the five total daily showings spread across the three remaining theaters still showing the movie on Long Island–failed because the picture quality was so bad that I got up, got a refund, and left.
When the trailers were shown in seemingly the wrong aspect ratio, I thought “uh-oh,” so I ran downstairs and asked the guy at the concession stand to let someone know to fix it. Then the movie started and while the picture didn’t look so badly accordionned inward anymore, it was still ran waaaaay past the top and bottom borders of the screen–credits disappeared right along with the top third of characters’ heads. The picture was also crooked, which I was subsequently informed was due to the angle of the screen, meaning all the movies they charge people to watch in that particular theater are at least that screwed up. To top it all off, what you could see of the picture was murky, and the surround sound wasn’t working to boot.
I know I was a film studies major, but this was in the era of VHS, so I feel like I’m not hugely particular when it comes to things like picture quality. I still don’t have a hi-def TV or a Blu-Ray player, for example. But I also feel like maybe every third time I go to the movies there’s an enjoyment-destroying, super-obvious problem with something. This time it was the picture being all screwed up. When I saw Doomsday it was the sound not being fully switched on. When I saw Let the Right One In it was the theater being north of 80 degrees. And I’m not even getting into the behavior of my fellow moviegoers. It’s to the point where each time I go to the movies, one of my favorite goddamn activities in the goddamn world, I sit down dreading whatever the hell will ruin it this time.
This is the kind of stupid extrapolation from personal anecdotal evidence that makes blogs so, so awful, but I can’t help it: Surely this sort of thing can’t be good for business? I mean, especially in this case, where the movie theater knowingly has a screen set up so that every single thing they show on it will be tilted to one side like you’re in the hideout of Frank Gorshin’s Riddler. That’s some chutzpah, my friends.
Anyway, I’m really angry that I didn’t get to see The Spirit, because I can’t possibly have a lot of time left to catch it in the theater. The end.
Sounds like they didn’t replace the aperture plate when they changed lenses, or perhaps failed to put in a new one when they changed lenses. It’s kind of strange that the wrong lens was in place, since my understanding is that modern projectors can automatically switch between the two. Not sure if that’s true of aperture plates; I would guess not. My experience running projectors was limited to equipment that was ancient 10 years ago, so I could be wrong either way.
The screen thing sounds like either a lie or a misunderstanding. It’s the sort of thing that can be corrected in the projection booth, in my experience. It’s much more likely that the projector is set up incorrectly than the screen being installed so poorly. Unless there was an earthquake in Long Island I didn’t hear about.
As far as the other technical difficulties: I get the idea that most projectionists don’t know what they’re doing. Modern projectors/platters/boards are pretty advanced, allowing the projectionist to basically thread up, push a button and leave. Problems occur when the machinery breaks down. A skilled, experienced projectionist can usually figure out some solution, but I don’t think these jobs pay enough anymore to retain good projectionists. And if theater revenues aren’t what they used to be, management might resist paying for proper maintenance/repairs on the equipment.
I was never a particularly skilled projectionist, but our machinery at the dollar theater was old enough that I had to learn a few tricks. I think it also helped that we had a manager who learned the projectionist trade when it was still skilled labor–no platters, no sensor tape, etc. He forced us all to learn a bit more than the average projectionist, to check sound and picture after starting the film, etc. Even then, I kind of knew that minimal level of dedication was rarer than it should be.
At this point, it would probably make a lot of sense just to release all movies on high-end optical discs (ideally in a proprietary format to reduce the risk of piracy). Of course, many theaters would just close down rather than invest in new systems for every screen. Plus, from my experience with the digital audio system in theater where I worked, optical systems aren’t always reliable, and it takes a specialist to fix them.
There you are–a response longer than your original post.
I sympathize a lot, Sean. I love seeing movies on the big screen in a good theatre. (The McMenamin’s pub chain of theatres with pizzarias attached, for preference.) But it’s been years since I even tried, and years more since I had a really thoroughly enjoyable time, because of all that junk. It seems like a theatre chain willing to spend no more than about 10% more than its rivals up front but spent it intelligently could clean up big.
What were the other two people doing?
Choose one or more of the following:
A. The backstroke.
B. Third base.
C. That’s a long way to tip a rarey.
Thank you for choosing Extruded Humor Product.
Jim–How did you know there were only two other people in the theater? Good guess! (Seriously, there were only two other people in the theater.)
Dick–Well, the screen was visibly tilted–I think perhaps the rear wall of the theater was slanted, in fact!–so I believe them when they say the movies are crooked all the time. It does seem like something they could fix by adjusting the projector, but I have very limited expertise in this area. Anyway, I’ve definitely gotten the impression from going to the movies a lot that nowadays all the projectionists do is switch it on and leave. So many times when there’s been a problem with the movie, it’s something so instantly obvious that if they’d stuck around after pressing play, as it were, they would have caught it. However in this case I did hear the projectionist say he didn’t see anything wrong with it, so it wouldn’t have mattered.
Bruce: I love a good theater, too. One of the reasons I never jumped on the multiplex-chain hateration bandwagon is because in my experience they were always so much nicer than local theaters. The tiny movie theater on Yale’s campus where they showed semi-arthouse things was the worst theater ever.
I’m the same in that I LOVE seeing movies at the theater, but every time I go, I EXPECT something to ruin the visit.
Could you imagine loving going to the comic shop, but you knew before going in that somebody was gonna punch you in the face at SOME point during your trip? Sometimes right when you come in. Sometimes when you’re paying. Sometimes when you’re trying to make heads or tails of the trade selection (is this alphabetical?!). But no matter when, it WOULD happen.
It’s great, cause Dave wears a hoodie when he goes and just flips that hood up, slouches down and enjoys the show. I used to think it looked funny. And then I started doing it, too.
I can’t fathom a theater actually exhibiting movies on a slanted screen. Was the auditorium not rectangular or something? That’s just an incredibly stupid way to put together a theater.
I always found it necessary to come back and check on a movie after it had actually started, since sometimes the splices between ads/previews could knock the lens out of focus. Could have just been the ancient projectors we used, though.
The thing that most annoys me about some (not all) art house theaters is the floors are often flat. Multiplexes have had slanted floors for decades, and of course most have stadium seating now. I hate watching a movie in a flat-floored theater.
“How did you know there were only two other people in the theater?”
Because you went to see The Spirit.
“It’s to the point where each time I go to the movies, one of my favorite goddamn activities in the goddamn world, I sit down dreading whatever the hell will ruin it this time.”
Amen.
I usually get to the movies fairly early, and I just eye every single person I see come in and think, “are you going to be the one to talk during most of the movie?” or “are you going to be the one who sits right next to me and answers their cell phone during the movie?”
LOL. I do the exact same thing. Whenever a group of teenagers come in, or a couple obviously on a date, I already have my Plan B for available seats should they sit in my vicinity.
I only go to the movies two or three times a year and usually only for movies that won’t be ruined by alot of fools making with the noise; I wanted to see No Country For Old men and There Will Be Blood on the big screen, but knew I’d just be frustrated – so I stick to shit like Cloverfield and Iron Man when I do go.