Read: Song of Susannah–“13th Stanza: ‘Hile, Mia, Hile, Mother'”; “Coda: Pages from a Writer’s Journal”; Wordslinger’s Note

HAhahahahahahahaha!

What a great ending! I laughed out loud. But I would, wouldn’t I? It involved something I’d wanted to do for 3/4 of this book, i.e. killing Stephen King. Ha! So I guess I was definitely right about this being at a remove from the real world, even in “the real world.” Great!

Before we get that far we finally do something fun, or even just not boring and annoying, with Susannah and Mia–their deliriously bugshit trip through the Dixie Pig and into the maternity ward from hell. King really outdid himself in this passage, one of the very, very few in the entire series that’s actually scary, and easily the craziest thing in it this side of Shardik the giant cyborg bear. Vampires, red mutant rat-people with distended teeth and human-face masks, cannibals that sound almost exactly like Grandpa from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre eating roast human babies on a spit, bird-people in Duke T-shirts, and evil gynecologists who act like all this is perfectly normal. That’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout! God only knows why it took this long to get there, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

So, I’m looking forward to watching Jake, Callahan, and Oy come in guns blazing against a restaurant full of monsters. I’m wondering what the loose end is regarding that John Cullum dude Roland and Eddie met in Maine and why his mention of his mysterious friend in Vermont gave Eddie the willies. (It’s entirely possible that plot thread gets picked up in an totally different King novel, or is a plot thread continued from one, but whatever.) King’s reference to seeing Armageddon in the “Coda” section has me hoping for a full-on monster apocalypse a la the rant the Ghostbusters went on in the mayor’s office. And of course there’s all the cool stuff we already have seen prophesied about what’ll happen when Roland comes to the Dark Tower–winding his horn, singing his fallen comrades’ names, doing some unimaginable battle. Let’s get it on!

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