300: A half-serious discussion

I love Frank Miller–he’s my favorite cartoonist–but I’ve never deluded myself into believing his comics have a lot to say politically. Since 9/11 he’s obviously been more tuned in, though he’s careened wildly from doing “bloodied but unbowed” Captain America portraits for Marvel Comics’ benefit book to doing a fairly vicious anti-patriotism and anti-religion thing in another benefit book to rewriting the third and final installment of The Dark Knight Strikes Again so as to play up the similarities with the real-world attack to slowly but surely working on a Batman vs. al Qaeda comic. But before then, you could essentially sum up his political position by saying he likes stuff that is good and doesn’t like stuff that sucks. Politics in his pre-9/11 work–cf. the liberal and conservative stereotypes in The Dark Knight Returns–were of an equal-opportunity angry centrist stripe and served mostly as another source of potential mayhem to play with.

That’s why I find the entire debate over the politics of 300, Zack Snyder’s “this one goes to eleven” film adaptation of Miller and Lynn Varley’s late-’90s graphic novel, ridiculous beyond words. So the following conversation, culled from an email exchange with my old Comics Journal message board running buddy Jim Treacher (of The Daily Gut, Blowing Smoke, and Mother May I Sleep with Treacher fame), is about as seriously as I’m gonna take it. Spoilers, saucy language, and snark abound, so caveat lector.

———-

“Sean T. Collins”

to jimtreacher

I was waiting for this.

http://www.slate.com/id/2161450

DOUBLEPLUSUNGOODTHINKFUL

—–

jimtreacher

to me

Yeah, I read that. How is it she didn’t slit her wrists during Lord of the Rings?

Here’s my review.

—–

“Sean T. Collins”

to jimtreacher

It’s like all the lily-livered liberal film critics in America put the same nine criticisms in a hat (video game, comic book, homophobic, white skin good/dark skin bad, warmongering, misogynist, too loud, too slow, too serious, Godwin’s Law violation), drew them out in random order, and made that their review.

—–

jimtreacher

to me

And I’m not sure how this little dork typed up his review with a baby bottle in one hand and his own bleeding heart in the other [chomps cigar].

Of course, when I Googled that guy, he served in the Gulf War so I’m not allowed to call him a little bitty sissy baby.

—–

“Sean T. Collins”

to jimtreacher

Another Nazi comparison! Did they go to film school with Charles Krauthammer?

“I mean I had an M16, Jacko, not an Abrams fucking tank. Just me and Charlie, man, eyeball to eyeball. That’s fuckin’ combat. The man in the black pyjamas, Dude. Worthy fuckin’ adversary.”

—–

jimtreacher

to me

Also, all that man-heat on one screen could totally cause global warming!

How about that Queen Whatserface? I’d like to [colorful euphemism deleted–ed.]

—–

“Sean T. Collins”

to jimtreacher

She’s a looker.

I saw it at a Warner Bros/press screening at the IMAX on monday, and I was surprised that the part where she gutted the evil councilman was the single biggest applause moment of the film.

—–

jimtreacher

to me

Yeah, that was good. Historically accurate too I’m sure, just like the rest of it. I liked the bit about standing up to the Persians’ “mysticism and something else I can’t remember.” The Spartan Abe Lincoln, I’ve seen him in a bunch of other stuff, can’t think of his name.

—–

“Sean T. Collins”

to jimtreacher

He was Elaine’s shrink on Seinfeld, who ordered her to date him. “You can and you will.” If Lifetime ever picks up my spec script for Artificial Person: The Lance Henriksen Story, he’s my lead.

—–

jimtreacher

to me

http://blogs.nypost.com/movies/archives/2007/03/300_gay_spartan.html

http://blogs.nypost.com/movies/archives/2007/03/go_tell_the_spa.html

http://blogs.nypost.com/movies/archives/2007/03/bush_is_not_leo.html

—–

“Sean T. Collins”

to jimtreacher

I AM pretty amazed that they kept the boy-lover insult line, considering that Frank was still responding to letters pointing out that it’s the most wildly historically inaccurate part of the book (and that’s fucking saying something) like nine years later.

Honestly, who gives a fuck if it’s “fascist”? On a purely aesthetic level fascism was pretty rad, and considering Bush’s approval rating in the country it’s not as if we’re in danger of actually going Fuhrer these days. This movie is utterly divorced from a political program–it’s just Frank’s innermost macho fantasy. No one actually thinks he’s advocating infanticidal eugenics, do they?

—–

jimtreacher

to me

On a purely aesthetic level fascism was pretty rad

“Was”?

and considering Bush’s approval rating in the country it’s not as if we’re in danger of actually going Fuhrer these days. This movie is utterly divorced from a political program–it’s just Frank’s innermost macho fantasy. No one actually thinks he’s advocating infanticidal eugenics, do they?

It’s like people who want to ban The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn because of Nigger Jim.

And they’re all missing the mordant humor. I only read the first issue way back when so I don’t know how that stuff played on the page, but Leonidas had some great laugh lines. And when they’re huddled under their shields against the rain of spears and all start laughing, I wanted to stand up and cheer.

—–

“Sean T. Collins”

to jimtreacher

To be fair, I don’t think Frank is critiquing this way of life. At all. In a way 300 is like Starship Troopers, in that if this more-or-less imaginary warrior culture could make a war movie about itself, this is what it would look like, but unlike Starship Troopers, I don’t think Frank wants us to look at Spartan society with bemused horror. He doesn’t like everything about that society, obviously, but overall he thinks it’s cool, whereas the guys who made Starship Troopers don’t think that society is cool.

It’s definitely aware of how over-the-top it is, though. I mean, walls of dead bodies, you know? Actual fascist art is either oblivious to or contemptuous of or desirous of the ability to exterminate the notion that there’s any other way of doing things–that’s what makes it fascist. 300 knows it’s completely bombastic and ridiculous and doesn’t give a fuck–that’s what makes it fun!

You’re right about the laugh lines. Another thing I liked about the movie is that you really get the sense that these guys LIKE each other–they enjoy hanging out and working together, they respect each other’s abilities, they believe in what they’re doing, they enjoy the fact that they do it well, etc. It’s a celebration of cooperation and competence, two very adult values that don’t get celebrated nearly enough because not enough actual adults cooperate or behave competently.

—–

jimtreacher

to me

Totally, totally, totally.

“Kneeling to you, that might be a problem. See, killing so many of your men this morning gave me a nasty cramp in my leg right here, so…”

I forgot my favorite moment! When the bald giant monster guy was watching the battle and straining against his chains, I wanted Joel Robinson and the bots to yell, “Put me in, coach!”

—–

“Sean T. Collins”

to jimtreacher

This movie will make an awesome RiffTrax.

—–

jimtreacher

to me

And if they’re going to slam this movie for showing Spartans without a lot of clothes, they might as well slam a Western for showing people riding on horses instead of in cars.

—–

“Sean T. Collins”

to jimtreacher

I also wonder if it is EVER acceptable to have a film in which light-skinned beings fight dark-skinned beings and the light-skinned beings happen to be in the right. Critics called freaking Lord of the Rings racist because of the orcs, fer chrissakes.

—–

jimtreacher

to me

Yeah, I miss D.W. Griffith too.

Another idiot…

http://www.lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=5135&IssueNum=196

—–

“Sean T. Collins”

to jimtreacher

It’s like they’re working from a script!

—–

jimtreacher

to me

And you know, Leonidas had a good point throwing those guys down the well. That dude rode into town grinning and holding up the skulls of conquered kings, he dissed the queen, he threatened Sparta with slavery and ruin, and in general he was just a dick.