I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that I really, really love Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings movies, and brook no dissent. (You got that, Jakala, Miller, and Spratling?) But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a sense of humor about them. For example, and please pardon my Jerry, but what is the deal with so many characters “dying” but then not really being dead?
The other day I made a little list of everyone in the three LotR movies who appears to shuffle off to Valinor, only to pop back up several scenes later. I’ve also noted which of these occurrences have some grounding in the books, and which were just thrown in for gits and shiggles by P.J. and company. Did I miss any? Oh, I guess I should note that there are SPOILERS ahead, but let’s face it, you’ve seen the movies already.
THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING
* SAURON: “Death” Prologue sequence–Gets Ring chopped off his hand, explodes; Comeback Prologue sequence–“rumor grew of a Shadow in the East, whispers of a Nameless Fear.” Yes, this is in the book.
* GANDALF: “Death” In Isengard–Saruman kicks his ass, then rockets him several dozen stories up into the pitch-black tower or Orthanc until a thud is heard; Comeback Later on in Isengard–We find him on top of Orthanc, where raindrops keep fallin’ on his head. Not really in the book, though they do wonder what’s taking him so long.
* FRODO: “Death” At the Ford of Bruinen, after Arwen raises the river against the Ringwraiths–His eyes go blank, Arwen cries, “don’t give in, not now,” etc.; Comeback Next scene–After Elrond says the magic words, Frodo wakes up in Rivendell, where apparently you’re allowed to smoke in hospital bedrooms, if Gandalf’s behavior is any indication. Yes, this is in the book.
* RINGWRAITHS: “Death” At the Ford of Bruinen–Arwen uses the river to drown them and the horses they rode in on; Comeback In the Dead Marshes sequence in The Two Towers–One of them swoops overhead on a Fell Beast (it’s the Cadillac of evil Nazgul steeds), because apparently they were all really strong swimmers. Yes, this is in the book, though in the book it’s made immediately clear that they’re not dead at all.
* FRODO (II): “Death” In the Mines of Moria, Balin’s Tomb fight sequence–the Cave Troll skewers him with a spear; Comeback Same scene–Turns out he was wearing a mithril shirt, the world’s most durable lingerie. Yes, this is in the book, although in the book it’s a big orc, and not a troll.
* BALROG: “Death” In the Mines of Moria, Bridge of Khazad-Dum sequence–Gandalf uses magic to break the bridge apart, sending the Balrog plummeting, which I suppose indicates that those wings are vestigial; Comeback About five seconds later–The plummeting Balrog has the presence of mind to crack his flaming bullwhip and drag Gandalf down with him. Yes, this is in the book.
* GANDALF (II): “Death” In the Mines of Moria, Bridge of Khazad-Dum sequence–see above; Comeback In The Two Towers–Turns out Gandalf survived the fall (and the swim, and the climb, and the fight) and has been sent back to fight another day. Yes, this is in the book.
* SAM: “Death” In the River Anduin–Sam attempts to swim out to Frodo’s boat and goes under a third time; Comeback Several seconds later–Frodo reaches under and pulls him up. This little fakeout is a P.J. invention.
THE TWO TOWERS
* MERRY & PIPPIN: “Death” During the nighttime attack on the Uruk-hai raiders by the Riders of Rohan–a horse rears up, Pippin screams, the hooves come down, thud, and we’re meant to presume Merry met a similar fate; Comeback At the end of their long run through Rohan, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, and after being told by Eomer that their friends are probably dead, Aragorn Legolas and Gimli figure out that nope, they’re alive, as we see through flashbacks. This is sort of in the book, but Tolkien doesn’t make such a huge deal out of it–the prospect of them being dead is talked about for like two sentences.
* GRISHNAKH THE ORC: “Death” During the aforementioned attack–this orc who wants to eat the hobbits gets a spear in the back just before he can do so; Comeback In the aforementioned flashback–He wasn’t dead, just restin’, and he grabs Merry & Pippin as they try to escape the carnage, and then follows them into Fangorn Forest. Not in the book–In the book, his ugly ass just gets slaughtered by the Rohirrim lickety-split.
* ARAGORN: “Death” During the warg-rider attack–Aragorn plummets off a cliff because he gets stuck to a runaway warg; Comeback Several scenes later–He just peacefully floated down the river at the cliff bottom until he’s woken up by a wet dream and a horse. This one is most definitely not in the book, but hey, what’s one more fake death amongst friends?
THE RETURN OF THE KING
* PIPPIN (II): “Death” In Edoras–Pippin steals the Palantir from Gandalf, uses it, meets Sauron, bugs out, goes catatonic; Comeback Same scene–Gandalf manages to bring his fool of a tuchis back to consciousness. Sort of in the book, but we’re not really made to think he might be dead, as we are here.
* FARAMIR: “Death” During the charge on Osgiliath–The huge Orc army fires their arrows at his little band of merry men, and if that didn’t convince you he bought it, several scenes later we see Faramir’s horse drag his body back to Minas Tirith with two arrows sticking out of him; Comeback In the Citadel of Minas Tirith–Dr. Pippin Took, MD, astutely notices that he’s not dead, and spends the next chunk of the film trying to keep him from being killed by his crazy father. Yes, this is in the book. Also, I guess that if you want to kill someone from the line of Stewards, use three arrows–that’s what they shot into old Boromir, and it seemed to do the trick.
* GOLLUM: “Death” In the Mountains of Shadow, after Frodo “escapes” from Shelob’s Lair, only to tussle with poor Gollum and knock him over a cliff; Comeback On the slopes of Mount Doom, where he pops up to make trouble for Frodo and Sam just before they reach the Crack of Doom. No, not in the book–in the book, he just ditches Frodo and Sam in Shelob’s tunnels, leaving them for dead, then is forced to follow them through Mordor once his plan fails.
* FRODO (III): “Death” In the Mountains of Shadow, after “escaping” from Shelob’s lair, only to have the giant spider sneak up on him and sting him (apparently she aimed for a part of him not covered by the mithril undergarment)–Sam himself pronounces him dead after finding him wrapped up in spider-webs like a hairy-footed Laura Palmer; Comeback In the Mountains of Shadow, where a band of Orcs gleefully explains that he’s not dead, he’s stunned. Definitely in the book. It’s a huge plot point, in fact. Question, though: Both here and with the Cave Troll, why is it that every time Frodo is jabbed by an enemy, he looks like he’s taking a difficult dump?
* SHAGRAT THE ORC: “Death” This is the smaller and more talkative of the two Orc captains that find Frodo’s body and fight over his swag–the one who gets kicked through the trap door and is promptly mobbed by his angry ersatz partner’s cronies; Comeback Several scenes later–Sam makes his way into the Orc tower to find Frodo, who is suddenly set upon by Shagrat, basically the only Orc to survive the internecine battle (despite having personally started it). No, not in the book, though the fight certainly is.
* FRODO (IV) AND SAM: “Death” In and on Mount Doom–First Frodo falls off the rocks inside the Crack of Doom, but hangs on, then Frodo and Sam race out of the Crack, only for their friends to watch in horror as the whole mountain explodes, then we see that they survived the big eruption, only to succumb at last to exhaustion and hopelessness on their lone rock above the rivers of lava; Comeback In a scene that may single-handedly redeem the legacy of Don Henley, Glenn Frey et al, three giant Eagles (with Gandalf on board) swoop in at the last minute and rescue the unconscious hobbits from a fate only Dr. Evil could love. The constant “are they dead? no! are they dead? no! are they dead? no!” alternations aren’t really in the book, but they do pretty much give themselves up for dead, until the Eagles save the day.
—-
Well, I think that about covers it. Please be sure to let me know if I missed anything.
And if you think that was comprehensive, just wait till you see my list of Super-Tight Close-Ups On Characters Whose Luminous Eyes Are Welling With Tears!