Worried that the overwhelming level of critical praise being flung at The Return of the King means that you won’t be able to find a review that will make you want to chew your own foot off? Fear not! Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat is reading the most wrong-minded, idiotic critiques of the film he can find, so you don’t have to!
First up is this New York Times piece by writer Caryn James. James, a woman who does not like The Lord of the Rings, has extrapolated that women do not like The Lord of the Rings. To support this notion, she relies on data collected about the books’ readership before the films were even released; polls that show that women are “less enthusiastic” about the film than men (polls so convincing, apparently, that their numbers need not be cited); and the fact that she doesn’t women don’t like Star Wars either.
Nevermind that in order to make the kind of Titanic-level money LOTR is making, you need repeat business from women. Nevermind that wherever you look, women critics and women moviegoers are among the film’s most vocal admirers. Nevermind that nearly every week for the past two years I’ve seen women reading the books on the subway. She’s got her own anecdotal evidence: Some women at her office went to see it just because Viggo Mortensen is hot, and she herself was, like, bored. She is women, hear her yawn!
UPDATE: Jim Henley is also on the Caryn James beat, pointing out whole new ways in which this article stunk.