Personal to Alan David Doane

I was a latecomer to The Sopranos. I caught up with the show all at once in the months before season four. Since the show was so big a part of the popcult conversation during that time, I pretty much knew every major event and “whacking” before I saw them. Needless to say, I was super-excited for season four, since I’d be able to be surprised, at long last, by each episode.

Along comes the episode that, rumor has it, will be The Big One. Every Sunday I’d drive to a friend’s house to pick up his taped copy of that night’s Sopranos and watch it back at the house. But a medical emergency that Sunday meant that I’d have to wait till Monday to pick up the tape. Cut to the next morning, which finds me in the hospital waiting room, waiting (appropriately enough). I decide to go find the vending machines to get a snack and some soda. And what to my wondering eyes should appear but the New York Post vending kiosk and the headline “LOOK WHO GOT WHACKED!” with a picture, right next to it, of the whack-ee. This was published less than 12 hours after the episode aired, and before countless fans (myself included) got to see for themselves what happened. It was a spoiler, in other words, one that ruined the episode for me. And it was a dick move.

And so was this.