Please allow me to continue channelling my inner Andy Rooney:
How do pseudopopulist talk show hosts decide who gets to stoke the flames of each new manufactured culture-war controversy? Do they have meetings where they divvy this stuff up?
“Okay, you can have Snoop Dogg’s appearance on Sesame Street, but I get dibs on Danny Glover’s MCI commercials.”
“Fine, fine, and since I got Ludacris’s Pepsi endorsment deal, I guess we’re even. But who covers Madonna & Britney’s MTV kiss?”
“Oh, who the hell cares about that, anyway?”
The point is, watch Scarborough Country tonight for the latest coverage of Sean-related smut-peddling!