Wasn’t that outrageous? Of course it was! It was that kind of zeitgeist-defining moment that only the VMAs can produce! Like the snake dance from a couple of years ago–dude, that’s ALL we would have been talking about if it weren’t for, y’know, that whole terrorism thing a few days later. And one time they had, like, a million Eminems! This is not your father’s award show, people!
Anyway, nothing spells sexy like Women Pretending To Be Lipstick Lesbians In A Very Public Fashion In Order To Get Guys Off While Nominally Purporting To Strike Some Sort Of Blow For A ‘Pro-Sex Feminism’ So Corrupt And Male-Dictated As To Be Actively Detrimental To Actual Women’s Sexuality! So let’s all go masturbate like bonobo monkeys, and then talk about it on VH1’s I Love the Naughties in 20 years, okay? Okay. Gosh, remember the first season of The Real World? And then they played “Billie Jean” and killed racism forever! I want my MTV!
JOHNNY MOTHERFUCKING CASH FOREVER