140 things I loved about ‘The Sopranos’

SPOILERS, obvs.

1. Paulie saying “You’re a general, T!” to Tony when Tony discovers that Paulie had rescued a painted portrait of Tony with his late horse Pie-Oh-My and had Tony repainted into Napoleon.

2. The scene where a suburban family on a trip into the city gets carjacked by a couple of black guys when pulling out of the parking garage, and their dog runs away chasing the car, and the dad yells “Niggers!” and completely shocks his children, and then we cut to Tony smilingly eying a polaroid of the stolen SUV because it ended up in his crime family’s hands.

3. AJ’s suicide attempt, and Tony rescuing him and telling him “It’s alright, baby. It’s alright.”

4. The ducks leaving the pool.

5. Tony asking Dr. Melfi if anything’s wrong after her rape, and her saying “no.”

6. Adriana begging “please” as she struggles to get away from Silvio when he pulls over in the woods to kill her, and Silvio saying “c’mere, you cunt.”

7. Uncle Junior thinking Larry David and his manager on Curb Your Enthusiasm are he and Bobby Baccala.

8. The glow of the wildfire in the window as Moby’s “When It’s Cold I’d Like to Die” plays in the background as “Anthony Soprano” sits on his hotel bed during his coma hallucination sequence.

9. Artie Bucco.

10. Tony and Christopher repeating their reminiscence about the van full of wine they hijacked from the bikers, to diminishing returns.

11. The psychiatrist, never seen before or since, who tells Carmela to take the children and run, not walk, away from Tony immediately.

12. “University.”

13. Bobby Baccala telling Uncle Junior, who’s just decided not to support Richie Aprile’s bid for power against Tony, “I’m in awe of you.”

14. Meadow Soprano’s dance in her underwear for Finn to Bill Laswell and William S. Burroughs’s “Seven Souls.”

15. Carmela’s reaction when Tony’s Russian mistress Irina calls and says “I’m the woman who used to fuck your husband.”

16. The Father Phil storyline.

17. The Vito Spatafore storyline.

18. The use of the music of Andrea Boccelli during the Furio/Carmela storyline.

19. Johnny Sack discovering his wife Ginny binge eating, and his genuine devastation as he says “You lied to me!”

20. The quick cut from the old man who reacts to the Tony-ordered shoot-up of an old brownstone by saying “I told you that crack is some bad shit!

21. The quick cut from Patsy Parisi reacting to Tony’s big rousing speech about the need for solidarity in the face of Phil Leotardo and Johnny Sack’s vendetta against Tony B. by saying “Thank you, very much.”

22. The proto-mashup of “The Peter Gunn Theme” and “Every Breath You Take” as the FBI tries to bug Tony’s basement.

23. The Kinks’ “Living on a Thin Line.”

24. Afrika Bambaataa and John Lydon’s “World Destruction.”

25. Van Morrison’s “Glad Tidings.”

26. The Rolling Stones’ “Moonlight Mile.”

27. The word-by-word shots of the passages in the study Dr. Melfi’s reading that explain how sociopaths con their therapists, particularly through their sympathy for babies and animals.

28. Vito Spatafore’s interior monologue countdown to his lunch break as he tries to do an honest day’s work on the farm.

29. The look on Tony B.’s dead face.

30. Adriana throwing up all over the table at the FBI office.

31. Burt Gervasi’s terrier barking as Silvio kills him.

32. The hapless landscaper forced into indentured servitude along with his college-kid son thanks to the war between Paulie Walnuts and Feech LaManna.

33. Idiotic Little Carmine actually making the right decision pretty much every time he makes a decision.

34. The fact that Bobby Baccala and Johnny Sack evolved from bit parts into main characters.

35. Gloria Trillo gasping “Kill me! Kill me!”

36. “You shot me in the foot!” “It happens.”

37. The loser in the band that Chris and Adriana are producing shitting all over the Beatles for being so predictable and boring.

38. Hesh dating African-American women exclusively.

39. Uncle Junior crying when Tony asks him if he ever loved him.

40. Finn falling asleep during the marathon argument with Meadow that ends with him proposing to her.

41. The ghostly silhouette of Livia at the Inn at the Oaks during Tony’s coma-hallucination.

42. The name Kevin Finnerty.

43. Phil Leotardo coming out of the closet in Vito’s hotel room.

44. The look on Feech’s face on the bus back to prison.

45. The waiter who Chris and Paulie murder in the parking lot after stiffing him on the tip.

46. The motorcyclist who gets run over during the hit on Silvio and Patsy.

47. The kids crying during the hit on Bobby.

48. “Daddy, they shot me!”

49. Detective Markasian honking and yelling at the traffic on his way to commit suicide.

50. Detective Markasian putting his badge on just before he commits suicide.

51. Eugene Pontecorvo hanging himself.

52. Vito’s son taking a shit in the shower.

53. Ralph Cifaretto yelling “I did nnnnnot! But so what?

54. Agent Harris.

55. Bobby Baccala.

56. The homeless woman with the Daily News stuffed up her ass.

57. Tony curbing Coco.

58. Bobby telling the jury foreman that if he were to convict a man like Junior Soprano, he’d want to put a bullet in his head here, here, and here.

59. Matthew Bevilaqua/Drinkwater.

60. Phil Leotardo saying “No more, Butchie. No more.”

61. JT Dolan telling Christopher “You’re in the Mafia.”

62. Johnny and Ginny Sack’s obviously anorexic daughter exasperatedly demanding “Can this family talk about anything but food?”

63. Johnny crying as they drag him back to prison at his daughter’s wedding.

64. Big Pussy asking Tony if it’s alright to sit down before they kill him.

65. Uncle Junior’s mistress sobbing and screaming “Corrado! Corrado!” after he hits her in the face with the pie and walks out on her.

66. Uncle Junior crying after he hits her in the face with the pie and walks out on her.

67. “The Test Dream.”

68. “It’s all a big nothing.”

69. “Everything turns to shit.”

70. Caitlin, Meadow’s depressed freshman-year roommate.

71. Finn looking over and seeing Vito pop up from blowing the security guard.

72. Furio’s rampage in the massage parlor.

73. Kennedy and Heidi.

74. Sil, Bobby, and Tony shadowboxing when the music from Raging Bull starts playing in the restaurant where they’re discussing going to war against Phil.

75. Bobby’s death scene.

76. Paulie killing his mother’s friend.

77. Adriana talking about how nice it is that Matush is sending money back to fund schools for boys in Pakistan.

78. Big Pussy bragging about going down on his Dominican mistress, and Tony asking “Hey Puss–did she really even exist?”

79. Tracee brining Tony baked goods while topless, with a smile full of braces.

80. All the malapropisms, from “my knight in white satin armor” to “irregardless” to “at the precipice of a crossroad” to “prostate with grief” to “mayham.”

81. Janice’s Rolling Stones tattoo.

82. The dream version of Detective Makasian sining “Three Times a Lady” to Annette Benning.

83. Tony beating the shit out of his driver just to show he’s still got it.

84. The Scautino bust-out.

85. Big Pussy running over the cyclist as he attempts to tail another gangster on behalf of his FBI contacts.

86. The dream-fish Big Pussy telling Tony that his fellow fish are asleep.

87. Carmela’s speech to comatose Tony in the hospital.

88. Tony punching through the wall during the big fight with Carmela.

89. “It’s just that ‘remember when’ is the lowest form of conversation.”

90. Dumping the asbestos in the middle of nowhere.

91. Livia smiling as they wheel her away from Tony.

92. The murder of naked Lorraine.

93. Tony having sex with Charmaine Bucco as Artie cheers them on in a dream.

94. The pervasive racism.

95. Tony B. zooming in on Carmela’s ass as he videotapes their pool party.

96. “Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this.”

97. The whole series from “University” onwards.

98. “In the end, you die in your own arms.”

99. The opening credits.

100. The fact that we knew Tony’s captain Ray Curto was wearing a wire for like two seasons, but because he wasn’t a main character no one paid any attention to it and focused on Adriana instead, and then when they finally brought it up again he had a heart attack and died in the FBI agent’s car.

101. Carmela’s philistinism.

102. AJ giving the bike to the hoodlums outside Blanca’s apartment.

103. AJ’s therapist asking him why he’s depressed, and him responding “How could anyone not be?”

104. “I get it! I get it!”

105. The look in Tony’s eyes as he kills Christopher.

106. “Fucking D-girl!” “Hey! I am a vice-president!

107. Johnny Boy Soprano’s mistress singing “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” to Tony.

108. Ralphie’s “collegiate” look.

109. “You let him hold a gun to your head during sex?” “It’s not like it’s loaded.”

110. Dr. Elliot Kupferberg.

111. “Fuck Ben Kingsley! Danny Baldwin just took him to acting school!”

112. Cosette.

113. Paulie asking Big Pussy in his dream “When my time comes, will I stand up?”

114. The handheld camera during “Chasing It.”

115. The rocking of the boat during Tony and Paulie’s fishing trip.

116. The Tindersticks’ “Tiny Tears.”

117. The episode that used a song from Aphex Twin’s Selected Ambient Works Vol. II over the closing credits.

118. Ralphie running across the yard after his son gets shot in the head with the arrow.

119. Chris explaining his tardiness to a meeting: “Sorry, T–the highway was jammed with broken heroes on a last-chance power drive.”

120. The fact that Frank Vincent was on the show.

121. Melfi reverse-Godfathering Tony by closing the door on him.

122. Bobby refusing to defrost his late wife’s last meal.

123. Tony goading Janice to break her anger-management routine just because.

124. Ralphie’s Gladiator obsession.

125. The art direction for the promo materials from Season Two onwards.

126. Calling the last episode “Made in America.”

127. Playing that commercial with Abe Lincoln and the talking beaver in the mental ward where AJ is institutionalized.

128. Hesh’s description of Livia: “Between her brain and her mouth, there was no interlocutor.”

129. Tony Soprano.

130. “Poor you.”

131. Butchie accidentally wandering from Little Italy into Chinatown as he wraps up his phonecall to end the war.

132. Agent Harris: “We’re gonna win this thing!”

133. Phil gootchie-gootchie-gooing his twin grandbabies at the gas station.

134. The guy who pukes when the SUV rolls over Phil’s head.

135. Meadow telling Tony how the government and FBI discriminate against Italian Americans, and Tony replying, “Well…”

136. Meadow parallel parking.

137. The man in the Members Only jacket.

138. “Don’t Stop Believin’.”

139. “Don’t stop—”

140. Cut to black.

7 Responses to 140 things I loved about ‘The Sopranos’

  1. Jim Treacher says:

    Ohhhhh! Fagetaboutit!!

  2. scott says:

    the whole cottage/boat playing music was amazing

  3. Chris Ward says:

    “I love you Johnny Cakes.”

  4. I don’t think there’s an actual “bad” episode of the Sopranos.

  5. 141. “She was a hooah.”

    142. Christopher’s speech at Livia Soprano’s wake (“But do they know that for sure?”)

    143. Christopher’s Intervention.

    144. Billy Budd.

    145. Tony and Furio in the golf car (“Stupid fucking game”).

    146. “I GET IT!”

    147. The Two Tonys (“Fucking cunt!”)

    148. Carmela after she sleeps with Mr. Wegler looking at the picture of Tony smiling next to her bed – and then going off to get a gun.

  6. Kiel Phegley says:

    “I loved you in The Have and Have Nots.”

  7. MikeyP says:

    #58 is incorrect. Bobby didn’t say that to the jury foreman, he said it to the labor union guy who was going to vote for a new labor leader (Bobby convincing him to vote for Uncle June’s guy).

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