School’s out

I thought I would LOVE doing this meme I saw at Bill Sherman’s and Johnny Bacardi’s:

A. Go to http://www.musicoutfitters.com.

B. Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search function.

C. Bold for the songs you like, strike through the ones you hate and underline your favorite. Do nothing to the ones you don’t remember (or don’t care about).

I thought I would love doing it, until I saw what songs were big in 1996. Feast your eyes, glut your soul:

The Top 100 Songs of 1996

1. Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix), Los Del Rio

2. One Sweet Day, Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men

3. Because You Loved Me, Celine Dion

4. Nobody Knows, Tony Rich Project

5. Always Be My Baby, Mariah Carey

6. Give Me One Reason, Tracy Chapman

7. Tha Crossroads, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony

8. I Love You Always Forever, Donna Lewis

9. You’re Makin’ Me High / Let It Flow, Toni Braxton

10. Twisted, Keith Sweat

11. C’mon N’ Ride It (The Train), Quad City Dj’s

12. Missing, Everything But The Girl

13. Ironic, Alanis Morissette

14. Exhale (Shoop Shoop), Whitney Houston

15. Follow You Down / Til I Hear It From You, Gin Blossoms

16. Sittin’ Up In My Room, Brandy

17. How Do U Want It / California Love, 2Pac

18. It’s All Coming Back To Me Now, Celine Dion

19. Change The World, Eric Clapton

20. Hey Lover, LL Cool J

21. Loungin, LL Cool J

22. Insensitive, Jann Arden

23. Be My Lover, La Bouche

24. Name, Goo Goo Dolls

25. Who Will Save Your Soul, Jewel

26. Where Do You Go, No Mercy

27. I Can’t Sleep Baby (If I), R. Kelly

28. Counting Blue Cars, Dishwalla

29. You Learn / You Oughta Know, Alanis Morissette

30. One Of Us, Joan Osborne

31. Wonder, Natalie Merchant

32. Not Gon’ Cry, Mary J. Blige

33. Gangsta’s Paradise, Coolio

34. Only You, 112 Featuring The Notorious B.I.G.

35. Down Low (Nobody Has To Know), R. Kelly

36. You’re The One, SWV

37. Sweet Dreams, La Bouche

38. Before You Walk Out Of My Life / Like This And Like That, Monica

39. Breakfast At Tiffany’s, Deep Blue Something

40. 1, 2, 3, 4 (Sumpin’ New), Coolio

41. The World I Know, Collective Soul

42. No Diggity, BLACKstreet (Featuring Dr. Dre)

43. Anything, 3t

44. 1979, The Smashing Pumpkins

45. Diggin’ On You, TLC

46. Why I Love You So Much / Ain’t Nobody, Monica

47. Kissin’ You, Total

48. Count On Me, Whitney Houston and Cece Winans

49. Fantasy, Mariah Carey (Ol’ Dirty Bastard version only)

50. Time, Hootie and The Blowfish

51. You’ll See, Madonna

52. Last Night, Az Yet

53. Mouth, Merril Bainbridge

54. The Earth, The Sun, The Rain, Color Me Badd

55. All The Things (Your Man Won’t Do), Joe

56. Wonderwall, Oasis

57. Woo-hah!! Got You All In Check / Everything Remains Raw, Busta Rhymes

58. Tell Me, Groove Theory

59. Elevators (Me and You), Outkast

60. Hook, Blues Traveler

61. Doin It, LL Cool J

62. Fastlove, George Michael

63. Touch Me Tease Me, Case Featuring Foxxy Brown

64. Tonite’s Tha Night, Kris Kross

65. Children, Robert Miles

66. Theme From Mission: Impossible, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen

67. Closer To Free, Bodeans

68. Just A Girl, No Doubt

69. If Your Girl Only Knew, Aaliyah

70. Lady, D’angelo

71. Key West Intermezzo (I Saw You First), John Mellencamp

72. Pony, Ginuwine

73. Nobody, Keith Sweat

74. Old Man and Me (When I Get To Heaven), Hootie and The Blowfish

75. If It Makes You Happy, Sheryl Crow

76. As I Lay Me Down, Sophie B. Hawkins

77. Keep On, Keepin’ On, Mc Lyte

78. Jealousy, Natalie Merchant

79. I Want To Come Over, Melissa Etheridge

80. Who Do U Love, Deborah Cox

81. Un-Break My Heart, Toni Braxton

82. This Is Your Night, Amber

83. You Remind Me Of Something, R. Kelly

84. Runaway, Janet Jackson

85. Set U Free, Planet Soul

86. Hit Me Off, New Edition

87. No One Else, Total

88. My Boo, Ghost Town Dj’s

89. Get Money, Junior M.A.F.I.A.

90. That Girl, Maxi Priest Featuring Shaggy

91. Po Pimp, Do Or Die

92. Until It Sleeps, Metallica

93. Hay, Crucial Conflict

94. Beautiful Life, Ace Of Base

95. Back For Good, Take That

96. I Got Id / Long Road, Pearl Jam

97. Soon As I Get Home, Faith Evans

98. Macarena, Los Del Rio

99. Only Wanna Be With You, Hootie and The Blowfish

100. Don’t Cry, Seal

Jesus, that was ugly. I guess I truly was “alternative,” considering how many of those songs I’ve never heard and how many of the ones I have heard I actively dislike–the Tower Records clerks of my youth would be so proud of me! Figuring out my favorite took about two seconds. And keep in mind that I’m judging this list from my current, far more open-minded-to-pop perspective, too. In that regard I could have been more generous, actually–there’s something undeniably enjoyable to me about all those Night at the Roxbury-type dance songs, like “Where Do You Go” and “Beautiful Life” and “Be My Lover”; I semi-enjoy some of those early precursors of mediocre hip-hop’s chart dominance, such as “California Love” and “Tha Crossroads” and “No Diggity” as well–but I simply don’t relish the craft of those songs the way I do, say, disco or ’80s pop. I’d have done a lot more bolding in 1978 than Johnny B. did, that’s for sure. And Christ, look at Bill S.’s 1968! I would KILL for the equivalent of the Human Beinz!

If you’re interested in what I did like in 1996, I made a list once, and I’m reposting it JUST FOR YOU. I went with only one album per artist or it would have just gotten ridiculous; the album selected is frequently, but certainly not always, the first album I discovered by that particular artist; it’s generally the one that had the biggest impact on me.

69 Albums That High-School Sean Loved

1. Alice in Chains: Dirt

2. Aphex Twin: